The paradox of self-deceit

Have always been rather intrigued by Gary Hayden's columns in Mind Your Body =D

Here's an except of today's column:

How does the battered wife convince herself that her husband is, at heart, a decent guy? How does the tone-deaf talent-show contestant convince himself that he is the next Elvis?

These are puzzling questions and there are no definitive answers yet.

But Neil Van Leeuwen, a philosopher of Johannesburg, has an interesting theory which he illustrates using the metaphor of “the teaspoon and the mountain”.

On one hand, you have a mountain of evidence that your husband is an abuser or that your singing is bad.

On the other hand, you have a teaspoon of evidence that your husband is a good guy or that you have musical talent.

“What happens in self-deception is that because of the desires within you, you focus all your attention on the teaspoon of evidence and you ignore the mountain,” says Leeuwen.

You have all the evidence that a rational person could need in order to make a correct judgement.

Indeed, if you were using the same evidence to evaluate someone else’s partner or singing, you would come to a sensible conclusion.

But you refuse to attend to evidence that conflicts with your desires.

If Leeuwen’s theory is right, then the severe self-deceiver employs essentially the same strategy as the mild self-deceiver: selective scrunity of the evidence.

An important difference, though, is that at some level, sever self-deceivers know precisely what they are doing.

There is a tension within them because they are uncomfortably aware of the evidence they work so hard to suppress.

- Gary Hayden

Interesting huh? =D And I found his blog!! =D =D Hahaha go take a look! http://garyhaydenspopularphilosophyblog.blogspot.com =D

On a sidenote, I realised I haven't said happy new year here yet!! Hahaha so here it is! HAPPY 2011!! =D =D Had a really, really superb start to this year! Haha the insane first few hours of 2011..seriouslyyyy hahaha thank God for the lovely and awesome people around me! =D And thank God I'm not working until the 25th so I have time to rest and recharge! =D And do all the stuff I planned to do at home! Haha pray for me! =D

Okay that's all! God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D =D

No I'm not afraid..and I won't get jealous..cause if I find out that you're not the one for me, then I know there will be someone better out there :D

Hello I've been busy! =D

Sandra's Schedule!

December 2010
2nd - Post A’s celebration cum double birthday celebration with JC people! =D
4th - Lunch & Daiso @ SSC! =D Xin Wang Cafe @ Airport for dinner! =D
5th - Go library borrow books after church! =D (Borrowed 6! Haha have completed reading only 1 so far! Amazing how you can squeeze time to read! =D)
6th - Dinner at Marche @ 313! =D
8th - Birthday celebration =D Kite-flying @ Marina Barrage, Dinner @ Just Acia, double helix!! =D
9th - CSI exhibition @ Science Centre, Lunch @ Macs, Arcade @ West Mall =D
11th – Dinner with SOAP (Y) =D
12th - Buy small cage and sand for hamster at PLC @ SSC after church! =D YCK swimming complex! =D
14th – Universal Studios!! =D Dinner at ThaiExpress! =D
16th – Watch sunrise, morning run, Rapunzel!! =D =D
19th - Watch ice skating performance @ Marina Bay Sands after church! =D Watch LOVE 50% on Channel U @ 9pm! =D

21st - Wild Wild Wet!! =D

22nd - Escape Theme Park!! =D

23rd - Karaoke! =D (Didn't go in the end cause all the rooms were full..went window shopping @ Nex instead! =D)
24th - (IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!! =D) Watch “Letters to God”! =D ICE SKATING! =D Airport to visit JY! =D

25th – Christmas Service =D (remember to buy gift for gift exchange tomorrow! :D) Lunch with cousins, dinner @ grandparents' house =D

26th - To the library! =D

29th - Packpackpack! =D

30th - 31st - Sleepover with SOAP!! =D

31st - Watchnight service! =D

January 2011
1st - CDAC outing! =D

1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th - Miracle Service! =D

2nd - Visit baby after church! =D Watch countdown show! =D Frisbee!! =D

3rd - Frisbee! (again! Hahaha thank God the muscle aches are gone!) =D

4th - Packed the clothes on my messy bed! =D

5th - Clean baby's cage! =D

On other days - Read library book(s)! =D Clear overdue QT! =D Do CNY shopping! =D

8th - Miracle Service! =D

25th - Start work at IRAS! =D

Saturdays - CDAC! =D

Things to do:

• Read the whole Bible! =D
• Finish reading the library books! Haha there are others I wanna read!: When I Don't Desire God - John Piper
  Desiring God - John Piper
  The Pursuit of God - A. W. Tozer
  Faith Beyond Reason - A. W. Tozer
  Weight of Glory - C.S. Lewis
  My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers
• Learn how to cycle! =D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Hello I'm back :D

Haha waaaaaa 1.5 months since the last entry..so yes the A's have ended WOOHOOOOOOOOOO! =D =D =D =D =D Just transferred photos from the camera to the com! :D Was thinking it's really kind of boring now (maybe cause I was out for so long yesterday..so it feels funny now? Haha) but then I thought..thank God..today's a day for rest :D QT last night taught me you can be busy but never in a hurry. God rested on the 7th day :D Busy but never in a hurry. I like :D

Hmmm so many things I can talk about!! Haha a multitude of activities planned out..so excited OMGOSH hahaha I wrote a list the other time..haha it's beside the com now! Waaaa these 8 months are gonna be awesome..today I'm gonna let that after A's feeling sink in :D Thank You Daddy..for being with me and running the A levels race with me throughout this period.. :D:D:D Through all the times I doubted..all the times you reassured me..all the times I was so stressed up I couldn't think straight..but You never let me go..thank You :D:D I LOVE YOU!! Hahaha I'm holding on to Your promise..since You said it will be done, I don't want to think about it anymore! Woohoo haha :D

Haha got to plan a day to visit the library and then devour all the books I've been wanting to read for so long!! I think this post is going to sound incoherent (and it's gonna be long!! Haha kudos to whoever actually reads this to the end!) cause the next thing I'm gonna say is..I'm listening to songs now :D And this feels so relaxing :D:D Hmm looking back..so many things have happened..Never-say-die November came and went :D Seriously, 2010 has been such an amazing year..thank God :D I think I learnt a lot..CHAMPION! =D Yesterday was really a celebration of all sorts..hahaha sang at Kbox again after..3 years?? Hahaha yea I think I'm mad cause I don't have a good voice but I love to sing hahaha crazy people are the best people in the world yay :D I think i sang my heart out yesterday lol madness never thought I'll sing like that when so many people are listening..but it goes to show I was comfortable hahaha thank God for all the fun I had :D and thank God my friends tolerated my madness HAHAHA CT even join me.."if you can't beat them, join them" HAHAHA cannot beat my insanity! Hmm yes I enjoyed yesterday :D Super tired but happy! :D

Oh yea thank God it's Friday!! :D It's raining now..yay cooling :D yay I'm home :D yay I'm alive :D lol yay I'm PMSing but it's gonna be over soon :D yay I think my friends are so cool..I have awesome friends V(^.^)V yay I have the awesomest Daddy God who loves me unconditionally and at all times :D yay I'm lovin' it :D I have the life!! Hhahaha blessed..really. Makes me wanna share what I have with those who need it..Those kids in Cambodia, India, Afghanistan, Somalia..really wanna do something for them..Haha God will I get the chance to? :) I keep the newspaper pull out beside my com..Somalia somalia somalia..I still remember how I felt when I read about the plight of the kids..so infuriated..I'm going to quote what I read..

"Child soldiers (in Somalia) are often used in frontline combat, as human mine detectors, and in suicide missions. They also act as spies, messengers and sex slaves. The use of child soldiers is rising in Somalia, where schools are used as recruitment centres." LIKE WHAT?? And in Afghanistan, child labour is a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR problem..I sometimes use the fact that the children there are busy carrying heavy loads, are being exposed to excessive heat, cold and noise to slap myself awake when I feel lazy..haha why? Because there's no time to feel that way!! In other countries..THEY HAVE NO CHOICE!! They have no time to feel dysania (new word I just learnt today from tumblr..it means "the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning")!! Doesn't the reality slap you hard in the face sometimes? Haha "there they are working their guts off and some don't even get paid for it and here you are thinking about all these rubbish and wasting your time??" Haha random but..it's amazing how God coordinates everything in this world..best organiser ever, no doubt :D He takes care of the hardworker, He takes care of the slacker..He takes care of everyone..with all their differing feelings and thoughts and personalities..haha okay what a lot of thoughts in this entry! :D

Guess I'll be going now..till next time! :D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D =D

Note to self: Next time Kbox must sing way back into love, beautiful soul, sunny day, 忘了时间的钟!! :D:D:D

So

I'm in a competition. (won't blog until it's over :D) I'm competing against myself..! =D GOD I WANNA DO THIS FOR YOU! At this point, it's overwhelming but..come on it's gonna be worth it =D Take my hand, I need You. Gotta eat well, study well, sleep well..I can't do it myself but..through Your strength, I can!! DADDYYYYYYYY haha I really don't wanna regret anything. I..commit everything into Your hands. I pray You'll grant willing hearts with determination..with passion..and passion without action is nothing so make us not just sayers but doers..I pray that Your Name will be glorified through it all..this isn't for nothing. This is for You. YES HAHA AMEN!!

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”- Psalm 27:14

OKAY DADDY! WE'RE GOING TO RUN TOGETHER! LET'S GO! =D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

HELLO!

Haha I realised I haven't said anything about God helping me to pass most of my prelim exams here!! Haha God is really awesomest =D =D =D 4 "U"s to 1 "U"..all the credit goes to God!! Didn't even revise/ study properly during the holidays..yea I survived with His grace =D THANK YOU DADDY!! For fulfilling Your promise :D:D:D

OH YEA I DANCED ON THE STREETS YESTERDAY! HAHA THANK YOU JY FOR BEING SUCH A WONDERFUL CRAZY PARTNER! ILY! HAHA SO FUN! And I'll remember the face you gave me on the train just now when I feel down HAHAHA CLASSIC! SEE YOU AFTER A'S!!

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Remembering why

Haha JW gave me a photo frame with "World's #1 teacher" recently =D Haha thank God for the occasional acts of sweetness that he does haha :D Hope I'll live up to that title someday! =D I want to hear my future students say "I can't wait to come to your class every day" =D =D And I want to be able to say "I can't wait to see you guys every day too!" =D I think passionate teachers are the coolest people on earth =D =D Anyone passionate is cool :D But passionate teachers take the cake =D

Give me oil in my lamp

Keep it burning, burning, burning

Give me oil in my lamp

I pray, I pray

Give me oil in my lamp

Keep it burning, burning, burning

Keep it burning till the end of the day

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =D

Dimensions

 

Haha I love this :D:D I think I'm a marker..haha both a rectangle and a circle..depending on how you look at it :D But this video isn't about personalities..it's about how people think the world should be like..how religion should be like..how God should be like..at least that's what I think it is :) Yup check it out..it's pretty cool =D Just found something..thought of it sometime back and now I've found someone who thinks the same way! =D

In the Hebrew Scriptures there is no word for "spiritual." And Jesus never used the phrase "spiritual life." Because for Jesus and his tradition, all of life is spiritual. So what does that mean?

Read it at https://robbell.com/everything-is-spiritual-2006-tour-film/ yea EVERYTHING is spiritual..why do people feel empty? Because there's a vacuum in all our hearts that only God can fill :D God is..everything. He's everywhere, in every moment..at the start of time, at the end of time..in the past, at the present, in the future..He transcends time and space..my God is so cool :D:D:D:D God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Olive you!

Hahaha is it just me or do I keep hearing "I love you"..I was thinking..where's the "olive"?? Hahaha okay never mind nice hearing it repeatedly anyway :D Haha wooohoooo Friday is comingggggg :D Already feels like it's here! Haha HI FRIDAY HI FRIDAY THANKS FOR COMING OLIVE YOUUUUUU hahaha I keep replaying the song! It's crazy how I can listen to the same song over and over for more than 3 hours straight..! Haha not today though :) Okay enjoy the song! God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Note to self: Find a way to watch "Music and lyrics"!! Another thing to do after A's YAY!! =D P.S.: Friday's here!! =D

[Edit] Just found this quote.. "You’re never alone, God’s always with you and there is always someone who is going through the exact same thing you are going through at the exact same time, or there is someone who has been through it and came out of it with the victory." Haha so true..I wonder if God makes the people around go through things that I experience so that I'll feel better having someone going through the same thing/ have someone who understands to talk to..or is it the other way round? Maybe it's not that it happened because I need to relate to others..maybe it's because..and the more I think about it, the more it seems to be this case..because I need the experience to grow..shouldn't feel like I'm not benefiting..shouldn't think that "I don't need this"..that "Again? God? So that I can relate to other people?" No..shouldn't think that way..shouldn't think that God cares more about other people..haha that's so wrong..how can God not love everyone equally?? =D [/Edit]

Because You live

Because You live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what You've given me always

Because You live in me
Because You make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because You live, Jesus
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

- Adapted from "Because you live" - Jesse McCartney

Thank You for loving me even when I'm so undeserving..even when I don't love myself..thank You Daddy, for being faithful even when I'm unfaithful.. :) I'll remember what You said ;) LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! =D

"When we don’t have the guts to step out in faith, then God is robbed of the glory that rightfully belongs to Him.Too often our prayers revolve around asking God to reduce the odds in our lives. We want everything in our favor. But maybe God wants to stack the odds against us so we can experience a miracle of divine proportions. Maybe faith is trusting God no matter how impossible the odds are. Maybe our impossible situations are opportunities to experience a new dimension of God’s glory."

In A Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =D

Haha

God, it's funny how You turn things around..the sudden outburst last night..thinking..what about me? Didn't feel Your love like I used to..Haha and then I didn't want to do QT..felt so guilty when I woke up..haha felt like such a letdown..like how could my heart change so quickly..

"I want you endlessly"..the depths of a human heart..just how much can a soul feel..haha Daddy, so what if I don't do well? Honestly have no idea how I'd do..but God, I'm leaving it into Your hands..if I do well, it's because of You..if I don't..well try until A's..and if things don't go the way I want them to..I'll know that..You have other plans for me..right.. :) pray I won't lose faith..it won't be the end. No it won't..! :)

So what? If I do my best, I won't regret right? Give me confidence, not in myself, but in You..not false hope..i need a living Hope..You. Don't want to lose this feeling..this conviction..thank You..haha it can get so stressful..but God, don't leave me..i can't just know that You're here..i need to feel You..

Christian = Christ I.A.N. = Without Christ, I Am Nothing

God, keep me. I need You.

Sigh God..what is this..mood swings again..who's for me??

i know there’s a lesson to be learned in all of this, but the ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach isn’t helping me find it.

Expect greatness

“As Christians, we need to live with the expectation that our walk with God will be full of life-changing encounters with Jesus. I pray that we will always be people with a Kingdom focus, and a spirit that says ‘God, I need an encounter with You, I am ready for the unexpected, and I have a heart that will do whatever it takes’.”

- Brian Houston

God, it's been so incredibly amazing..hahaha can't help but praise You! =D I feel You in every single moment..this is my life and God is the director..=D I'm going wherever He's taking me..cause I know it's gonna be awesome!! YAYYYYYYYY =D Daddy, thank You for this joy..joy can be never-ending..because it's from You :D

And I think the sole reason why there is still good in this world is because You are here. The only reason why the world is still revolving is because You planted desires and dreams in our hearts..so as we work towards them, things get going..and the world moves..yea I think so :D

This is the sound of the redeemed

rising up to praise the King

singing glorious, glorious One

You have saved us

Honour and power

And praise to the Saviour

You are the answer

You are the answer! =D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Sometimes

Omgosh haha this is beyond words =D =D I want to see this someday! =D

"Sometimes skulls are thick. Sometimes hearts are vacant. Sometimes words don’t work."

- James Frey

"Walking in God's will may not always be the easiest but it's always the safest"

“When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”- Psalm 94:18-19

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

Thank You :)

I wanna read:
When I Don't Desire God - John Piper
Desiring God - John Piper
The Pursuit of God - A. W. Tozer
Faith Beyond Reason - A. W. Tozer
Weight of Glory - C.S. Lewis
My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers

P.S. I love you - Cecelia Ahern (Book and movie)

To have a dream in your heart that you must make come true, to think about constantly - even wake up at two
or three in the morning when everything’s still,
plotting and scheming new ways to fulfill
this desire that’s burning so deeply inside,
it’s no wish or whim - it will not be denied.
Imagine it happening - set a picture in your mind,
your dream holds the power of how you will find
a way that will lead you to all you hold dear,
for when the student is ready the teacher will appear.
Then strive on believing your dream will come true,
be consistent, persistent in all that you do.
You’ll come across hurdles - you’ll stumble and fall,
some days it will seem like your back’s against the wall.
Frustrated and weary and filled with self-doubt
but a voice from within you will rise up and shout,
“You know you can do this - just stick to your schemes,
don’t dwell on the obstacles - focus on your dreams.”
Be self-disciplined - do whatever it takes
for the wall around success is to keep out the fakes.
Whether you make them come true or you let your dreams fade, one thing is for certain - a price will be paid.
The choice is all yours - which one will it be? The thrill of your victory or the agony of defeat.
- Anonymous

God, You're awesomest. :)

Had this sudden urge to look for a song I heard two years back but I can't find it ANYWHERE now! It's "When I See You/Your Smile" by Pete Masitti. God, please send some help haha strangely, this desire isn't going away! It's like the more I can't seem to find it, the more I want to get it haha!

Okay today's Friday the 13th. I believe it's going to be amazing. Yea thank God it's Friday! :D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! :)

Yay =D

From Uploaded photos

Hello JY if you're reading this! Haha :D I think it's seriously cool how we can make any place feel like home! Haha and I'm still amazed at how clear the reflection is..! Love it haha stay happy! We're all in this together =D Love you! :)

Oh yea I found this extremely adorable photo of a puppy..

Awwww haha I'm gonna get a pet in the future..hmm let's see..kittens, puppies, rabbits, hamsters..I want them all! Haha okay got to go! :) God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

=D

Hello world :) Today is better than yesterday..thank God :)

So..I've come to realise that people will disappoint you. And that you'll disappoint others too. So just forgive and forget. You'll make the world a better place. :) Don't hold on to your expectations of people. Let go. Because everyone makes mistakes. Yup haha yay felt so liberated after sorting my thoughts out :D Indeed, the truth sets you free! Haha =D

When there's a storm, wait for the rainbow. It'll appear. :) Haha I've something apt to share!

Yay haha okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D:D

Dear heart

I really, really wish you came with a power button. And please stop being so naive.

"89,000 people die in their sleep every night for no reason at all"

Not sure how reliable that statistic is but remembering that such things do happen always make me feel so thankful for being alive..haha :)

"Feel good anyway" Haha yea nothing beats it :D

Awww

Deaf 8-month old gets a cochlear implant which allows him to hear. This is his reaction.

Isn't it amazing? :D How God made voices..sounds and music..one of the most beautiful things life has to offer :D Talking about voices, I love how only God knows how I sound like to myself. Hahaha it's our little secret. Shhhh :D You know you sound different to other people right? They can't hear how you sound like to yourself..but you can ANDDDD God can :D Haha I love it! :D I like to think that God loves hearing my voice HAHAHA yes God? Thank You that I'm alive today. You make everything seem alright. Thank You..so much :D:D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D

This is too pretty

Yay :D

TODAY IS FRIDAY WOOHOOOO :D I've got a handful of things to do..haha okay tonight's gonna be a long night! Just listened to this..

:D I like her voice! And the ukelele! Haha Stargirl's favourite!

Yesterday I asked God to let me know if what I'm doing is worth it and today someone told me something that made me convinced. I'm sold. Haha wanna be sold out for Christ. :D God, help me be brave. Can't do it alone.

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

P.S.: I've been trying to fix the problem of my sidebar reaching the top of the window but I haven't found a solution yet so for now..it will remain in this state HAHA let me know if you can solve it! Thanks! :D [Edit] Solved! =D [/Edit]

!!

Did you know? Ohana means family!!

Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

- Mallory Marie

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Omgoodness..:(:(


Haha I once told my friend that I have this weird habit..it's not even a habit. It's natural. I think about what others are thinking. It's crazy right? I don't remember what she said but I remember it made me think that I'm the only one who does it HAHA

TOO MUCH TUMBLR! OKAY STOP HAHA I'M MAD MAD MAD JUST READ SO MANY TUMBLR BLOGS!! OH NOOOOOO OKAY GOD BLESS, TAKE CARE & BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :)

Chin up!

That's the spirit girl! =D

God, I need You. DESPERATELY. Need Your miracles..need Your strength..need Your joy..need Your love..need Your everything haha am I too greedy? Tell me everything's going to be amazing eventually. I need hope. HAHA. Yea need not want.

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! :)

=D

While some historians had always regarded the [conflict] thesis as oversimplifying and distorting a complex relationship, in the late twentieth century it underwent a more systematic reevaluation. The result is the growing recognition among historians of science that the relationship of religion and science has been much more positive than is sometimes thought. Although popular images of controversy continue to exemplify the supposed hostility of Christianity to new scientific theories, studies have shown that Christianity has often nurtured and encouraged scientific endeavour, while at other times the two have co-existed without either tension or attempts at harmonization. If Galileo and the Scopes trial come to mind as examples of conflict, they were the exceptions rather than the rule.

- "Science & Religion", Gary B. Ferngren

Where did the notion of "forever" come from if God doesn't exist?

Where did people get the idea that Heaven and Hell exist?

Who created nature? How can there be such order and complexity in human beings and animals without a Creator?

Who were the first people on Earth? How did people come about? If you believe we were once apes then where and how did those apes come about? There must be a Higher being who created. :)

The theory of evolution is shot full of inconsistencies. Evolutionists have seized on many theories, within the overall theory of evolution, in an attempt to explain the origins of plants, animals, the heavens and the earth.

Over and over, these “theorists” try to explain how life evolved from inanimate material into more complex life forms until it reached the pinnacle—human beings.

Yet, as one geologist wrote, “It must be significant that nearly all the evolutionary stories I learned as student…have been debunked” (Dr. Derek V. Ager, Dept. of Geology, Imperial College, London, The Nature of the Fossil Record, Proceedings of the Geological Assoc., Vol. 87, 1976, pp. 1132-1133).

Perhaps the biggest reason that so many theories within the overall theory of evolution collapse is because they contain terrible logic requiring great leaps in faith to believe. Here is one example of a “debunked” theory: “Many evolutionists have tried to argue that humans are 99% similar chemically to apes and blood precipitation tests do indicate that the chimpanzee is people’s closest relative. Yet regarding this we must observe the following: ‘Milk chemistry indicates that the donkey is man’s closest relative.’ ‘Cholesterol level tests indicate that the garter snake is man’s closest relative.’ ‘Tear enzyme chemistry indicates that the chicken is man’s closest relative.’ ‘On the basis of another type of blood chemistry test, the butter bean is man’s closest relative’” (Morris, Henry M., The Twilight of Evolution, Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1967).

From http://www.realtruth.org/articles/070601-006-teog.html

Silence

In recent years rigorous studies on the health consequences of noise have indicated that it elevates the heart rate, blood pressure, vasoconstriction and stress hormone levels, and increases risk for heart attacks. These reports prove that even when we have become mentally habituated to noise, the damage it does to our physiologies continues unchecked.

- "Silence: It's more golden than you think" by George Prochnik

I like comfortable silence. Silence can be fun. Silence is necessary. Silence gives people time to ponder deeply. But silence can be so loud that it becomes deafening. Silence can hurt.

723.

Helloooooo :D It's been more than a month! Haha :) Thank God for everything! Got the answer to my question :D Tried to upload photos just now but FB kept crashing on me..haha okay never mind will try again later :)

SO! Feeling tired after a long day out but it was really enjoyable :D:D:D Competing to see who can throw the pillows back into the basket from the furthest distance (haha this one was super short but it was fun :D), doing seriously dumb things in the showrooms (OMGOSH TOILET BOWL PHOTO HAHA) AND RUNNING UP THE DOWN ESCALATOR FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE HAHAHAHA SUPER EXHILARATING :DDDDDDDD YOU SHOULD TRY IT TOO! The escalators at T3 are long and aren't the steps type so you won't get hurt that easily haha :D Was about to reach the top when this guy on another escalator shouted at us and told us not to do that. HAHAHA yea I know it's crazy but you don't always get to do it!

Talking about funny things that happened to us, dreaming about the future, unsuccessful jumpshots, eating good food together, taking 71 photos although the camera's battery was low (HOW COOL IS THAT! THANK GOD FOR MAKING THE BATTERY LAST! HAHA) and laughing like crazy at anything and everything. Haha thanks for your "I love you" before I left :D I know I said "Yup yup" but I really wanted to say "I love you too" hahaha sorry I think I was too tired :) These words have been said many times before but you just never get tired of saying them. Having someone willing to do the dumbest things with you is one of the best things in life..I LOVE YOU FRIEND! =D

I made an animation! Another jumpshot animation :D Haha don't know how to increase the speed..if not it'll look really funny haha

AH YAY :D I'm going to read and watch Dear John, The Notebook and maybe Message in a Bottle..and another books by Nicholas Sparks after A's haha :D

Oh I found a really cool photo just now :D

AHH I WANNA DO THIS TOO! GROUP SKYDIVING!!

Okay really tired haha going off soon..God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! :)

Random thoughts

AHHHH I LOVE 败犬女王!!

--

Malleable heart. (Sounds better than volatile heart, at least to me. Haha)

--

Love the natural high I get after exercise haha :D

--

God why do You still love me? I disobey. So many times I've disappointed You. Yet You never give up on me. Sigh You're the best. Please pull me back when I wander too far off. Cause I need You. I get worried when I realise that I want You for the wrong reasons. Change me. You deserve more.

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

惜福

Be thankful for the little things in life. When the escalator rides downwards after 5pm, be thankful for that. :D When you get to spend quality time with your loved ones, be thankful for that. When you open your eyes after a good night's rest, be thankful for the new day ahead. Be thankful. You're alive. :)

http://raindrops25.livejournal.com/13848.html
Awww :)

Hahaha this made me laugh.

I promised Shirleen that I'll upload this on my blog :)
Hi baby, can't wait for you to grow up. HAHAHA. Love you, don't cry so much! :)

Okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! :)

Old chinese songs

..I like. Haha its 11.11 now! :)

Thank God

for helping me pass NAPFA!! Haha He really performs miracles..from 0 to 2 then finally 7 pull-ups yesterday..haha those who know how afraid I was of pull-ups - my nemesis in NAPFA - will know it's really a miracle :D:D And I hit a personal best for standing broad jump - 179cm! Haha okay to me it's another miracle =D God is awesomest! Though I didn't run as quickly during the shuttle run and do as many sit-ups as I did during the 1st test, I'm really grateful that I passed :D Not sure if I'll be getting a silver or bronze but never mind cause to me it's gold HAHA so corny XD So anyway YAY THANK GOD NO MORE NAPFA FOR REAL, FOREVERRRRRR!! =D

Anyway, something I found from my favourite tumblr blog:

=D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

Wordsmith

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't. -Richard Bach, writer

Life: to question, explore, experiment, experience, walk, run, dance, play, eat, love, learn, dare, taste, touch, smell, listen, argue, speak, write, read, draw, provoke, emote, scream, sin, repent, cry, kneel, pray, bow, rise, stand, look, laugh, cajole, create, confront, confound, walk back, walk forward, circle, hide, and seek. To seek: to embrace the questions, be wary of answers

- Terry Tempest Williams, author

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

I want

the combination to be magic too. Sparks will fly :D:D:D:D

I can't cycle on just two wheels.

I can't swim.

Everything in between

Something to do

Something to love

Something to hope for

"Tough times don't last. Tough people do." =D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hmm

I just remembered something..when you were feeling down, I told you that you shouldn't worry so much about it cause it's not worth it.and that no one should take away your right to live life to the fullest..and that I'll be there if you need me..and yea it still holds true. I mean what I say..and now I need to tell myself what I've been telling people..hahaha :)

To another you..okay I'm struggling to write this haha but I know life is unpredictable and I might be gone tomorrow..so in case I do, at least you can read this here..haha okay so here goes! We aren't talking now and I have no idea if we ever will again..but I just want to tell you that I hope that even if we can't be good friends, we can at least be hi-bye friends? Haha..hmm cause ultimately a friend is better than a foe right? :) Oh and wanna let you know that I'm open to talking..anytime actually..okay so it may be hard for you to start the conversation..but really, I don't mind just a "hi"..yea I still care because I don't wanna lose you forever..ahaha this is so hard..I really hope you read this with an open heart..I'm not doing this for myself..please don't think that way..ahh I miss you friend..sorry for not being the perfect friend..I miss those times when we talked about almost everything under the sun and laughed..you're still the only one (I hope? Haha) who knows about some things that I'll probably never tell anyone else..okay yea in any case, I'll definitely remember all the good times we shared..!

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Whyyy

God, why did you make me to be sensitive? And it's worse when I PMS. Hahaha.

Edit: Okay I think I got my answer. Because sensitive people click. Haha You're going to use me right? Really wanna see what You're going to do :D:D

Hello!

I have quite a number of things I wanna share! =D

Hahaha first up..I discovered this recently..it's so cute!! Try it! :D:D

In your phone’s T9 text mode, put in: 968127312328843851. =D

Next..

Solidarités International: Water talks from La Boite Concept on Vimeo.

COOL. TO. THE. MAX. World problems..reminds me of the video I watched in church about the situation in Haiti..really heartbreaking..keep them in your prayers, they need it!! :) And speaking about inanimate objects talking (video title), this brings me to the 3rd thing, something which I really agree with: Everyone and everything is saying something. The sky (gasped when I saw it this morning :D), every single tree and flower, every blade of grass, that stone on the sidewalk - they're all speaking..:D

Hmmm tomorrow is Friday! Time fliessss..hmm school was fine today :) There were highs and lows..Rahh chem SPA!! God I need You!! MsC looked at my graph and looked worried..haha alamak so many anomalous points..sigh okay but thank God for the highs :D Exploded in laughter so many times during Math hahahaa thank God for funny friends =D=D

Okay got to go eat dinner :D Oh yea if you haven't voted for the shortlisted IHPC photos, log on to Schoolbuzz and click on the IHPC link to start casting your votes! Have fun! By the way I think the voting poster is really well done haha I have talented juniors! Okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :):)

SIGH GOD YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR!! AHHH I'M DISAPPOINTED.

And about that..I can only say..its because they dont know me..right yea =D

Amazed

Read this:

"Humans and chimpanzees share 96% of their genomes"

Even more fascinating:

"About 99 percent of genes in humans have counterparts in the mouse"

(And you thought it's more likely that we share that percentage with apes! Haha!)

Was just thinking how learning Biology makes one learn about God at the same time..=D=D Isn't it amazing what the 1% difference makes? 1% = Ability to think and rationalize, ability to feel, ability to talk, ability to comprehend, ability to impart knowledge and the list goes on..

1%..it just blows me away to know that God can do so much with so little..haha God can even make something from nothing! :) Yea if you feel small today..remember that God can use you to do big things :D Haha humans are forgetful creatures..got to keep reminding yourself! :)

And humans are definitely in a different league from mice..from chimpanzees..poles apart..! Haha how could we have evolved from apes? It's funnily ridiculous..haha we don't need evolution to become the "superior" beings cause we already are. Made in God's image. :)

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

I just want you and you're beautiful so you're the one I wanna hold :)

:')

When you can’t go on
And you’re all talked out
When your heart gets broken
And you don’t know how

When there’s nothin’ left and everyone leaves
When you’re heart’s all spent and you don’t need me

I will still be here, when it’s not easy
Baby trust me when I say
I will still be here, you need to know
I’m not going anywhere

When you need some strength
When you need a hand
When you have no faith
And you need a friend

I don’t care what you say
Or how far you roam
I don’t care what you do
I just hope you know

I will still be here, when it’s not easy
Baby trust me when I say
I will still be here, you need to know
I’m not going anywhere

And you could fall down, fall down, fall down
You could cry, cry, cry
Come on break down, break down, break down
And I…

I will still be here, when it’s not easy
Baby trust me when I say
I will still be here, you need to know
I’m not going anywhere

I will still be here, when it’s not easy
Baby trust me when I say
I will still be here, you need to know
I’m not going anywhere

Thank You Daddy..just what I need..don't know how it'll turn out..will need Your strength..and thank You for them..God I pray pray pray that everything will be fine in the end..!!

WAH GOD YOU'RE SO GOOD! First the song lyrics, then the encouragement from friends and then MsG's call and then papa's sudden call plus the 2 short prayers :D:D THANK YOU!! I really don't want to worry too much about it anymore..don't wanna worry about not meeting expectations; not maintaining the standard..no matter what at least we know we did our best..yup God all into Your hands..take the wheel! :)

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =D

Thank You

for loving me all the time..! =D

:)

God, thank You for everything. :) :)

Yesterday someone asked me, "How can you still be so energetic despite not sleeping??" Haha I wanted to say God's the One who gave me the energy..yea He's my provider :) :) But I didn't..I just smiled..haha..God I need more courage..

Hmm these few days I've been super busy with IHPC hahaa but thank God I'm enjoying every moment of it..He's good right? :) Cause its only when you're having fun doing something that you won't feel like it's a chore. Yea I'm enjoying THE MOMENT. Haha some advertiser I am..must be kind of annoying haha =P Butttt I'm still going to do it! Haha!

COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT A POLAROID CAMERA! =D Look at all those tumblr pictures..haha so many of them were taken with a polaroid/ made to look like polaroids..SO JOIN JOIN JOIN DON'T WAIT! HAHAHA THANK YOU!

Okay that's all..God please God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

HELLO!

God is awesome awesome awesomest! =D Thank You for the miracle! :D:D I was experiencing some sort of faith crisis..but yea God, You never fail to amaze me! =D It's never about me..it's always You. :)

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
- The Desert Song

Haha yay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Whooo

I thought my blog would be taken away today! Lol Blogger said so in that email but then I checked http://blogger-ftp.blogspot.com and saw that.."Migration deadline extended to May 1"! Yay! Haha thank God! =D

I feel duper happy today..Nice things said by nice people will..never fail to make me smile..ahh it's euphoria :D Okay I just went on pretty-photos-hunt and I'll be posting them here to share with you guys! =D Hope they make you feel as happy as I am! :D Let's go!

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures

Yes I love Bambi :D

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures

A little bit of Heaven on Earth, right? =D

Haha pretty room there :D

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures

Awwwww :)

From Blogger Pictures

=D

Reblogged from happythings.tumblr.com and blinksoflife.tumblr.com :)

I found a new blog I like..http://blinksoflife.tumblr.com/search/plant I love the words on that page..go read it when you're free..or feeling unhappy :) Will link it later! :D

Yay finally done uploading :D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

We the redeemed

Today was the 1st time in a long while I went back to Speedlight for service..went to main service the past few weeks and woohoo today's P&W session was so God-filled :D:D I particularly love this part of one of the songs we sang today :D

Pre-Chorus:
This is the sound of the redeemed
Rising up to praise the King
Our hope is in You
This is the sound of the redeemed
Rising up to praise the King

Chorus:
Singing, Glorious, Glorious One
You have saved us
Honour and power and praise to the Saviour
You are the answer
You are the answer

It really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I hear everyone else sing their hearts out..and not just for anyone but God. God! :D And today..I felt so much joy..haha just singing..God really does wonders :D Happiest I've been these few days..yay to no more feeling down! Yup You're the answer. Definitely!

Okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Rahhhhhh

Haha was feeling quite down but pictures of Changmin actually managed to cheer me up hahaha..he's 23 now!

http://ssangcho.blogspot.com/2010/02/happy-birthday-changmin.html

See see so cute hohoho..and no that's not another blog that I have..haha..sigh this feeling is so irritating..PMS perhaps..but thank God it's Friday!! =D

Anyway..been thinking about average recently..hmm..this is what I thought up in the train this morning..haha..here goes :)

What's average and what's not?

Are you average?

If everyone has different sets of talents and skills, and a talented person is never considered average, why does the term "average person" exist?

So yes, you can say everyone's the same cause EVERYONE has talents..but then again, no one has the same set of talents..sooo is everyone still the same?

So now, if you've always thought you're average or if you've always thought someone around you/ people you brush past on the streets/ in the trains is average, think again. :)

You are extraordinary. (Go dissect that word and think about it haha =D) God doesn't make junk!

Yay yup happy thinking..God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :):)

Hello world!

Sorry for the lack of updates for almost a month! It's been an..eventful month I'd say haha..Botanic Gardens (! finally, the day the proposal got realised :) Had fun with the J1s! :)), got sick (dumb influenza..missed a lotttt of lessons!), got better, went visiting, collected hongbaos =D, felt like a zombie yesterday..ahh okay photos! :):)

Mummy and I :D Yea I look quite pale..it's the after-effects of flu! Haha

Shirleen and I..I know right crazy outfit..haha once in a while ma! =D

Anyway Blogger sent me an email telling me that their FTP service will be discontinued soon..which means I will have to change my blog URL..yup :) Using the netbook now..Jian Wei's computer doesn't detect the mouse anymore and my main com..ah well let's just say it's old and not very functional anymore hahaha but it's okay thank God I still have this laptop! :):)

I think I'm cutting my hair soon..been nagged at by quite a few people already haha okay okay I'm granting your wish soon! Probably this weekend..hmm..and thank God today's a public holiday! Yayyyy :D Oh yea I finished reading Chicken Soup for the teenage soul today =D It's a nice compilation of inspiring stories..I think it's the 1st "Chicken Soup for the soul" I've finished! Never had a chance to complete a book in that series cause I was..too busy? Haha yea..I still have "The Diary of Anne Frank" and "The Edge of the Sky" (both were given) to read..uh huh but since they aren't library books I can take my time to read them.. :D

Okay what else..I packed my bed today! Haha and there have been a lot of old HK shows airing these few days..so yea watched with family..and I've been logging to the PS website everyday to check the photos haha crazy webmistress huh..but really, it's been a happening place recently with the J1s' additions :D And..I need to do homework! God, help me!

Yea I think that's all for updates..God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Qing Fei De Yi!!

=D

Haha this is really adorable..got this in the email from Mummy :D Just wanted to share it..haha have a nice day! =D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Helloooo!

Discovered some really cool videos!! :D





Today, I didn't eat anything during lunch break and ended up being famished during Bio..thank God MY could run to get chocolate croissant for me just before PE!! :D Gobbled it all and prayed that I wouldn't get any tummyache or worse, vomit what I ate..and thank God I didn't!! Hahaa seriously. Had to 8 rounds around the track! So yea God is good :D:D:D

Okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! :):)