👂🏻😌

For a long time, whenever I walk back to school from the coffeeshop after getting lunch last year I'd hear music playing..and I realized God was speaking in those moments thru the songs..so I started recording the lyrics I heard at the exact time I walked past..

17.09

All that I want to do is hold you forever

Forever and ever

Nothing's gonna stop us

18.09

Through the hourglass, I saw you

Each time you slipped away

When the mirror crashed, I called you

And turned to hear you say

If only for today, I am unafraid

Take my breath away

Take my breath away

22.09

Can you imagine when this race is won?

Turn our golden faces into the sun

Praising our leader, we're getting in tune

The music's played by the, the madmen

Forever young

23.09

If I see you next to never

Then how can we say forever?

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

24.09

Hey, if we can solve any problem

Then why do we lose so many tears?

// Everytime you go away

23.10

From the skies above

To the deepest love

I've never felt

Crazy like this before

Paint my love

You should paint my love

It's the picture of a thousand sunsets

It's the freedom of a thousand doves

Baby, you should paint my love

27.10

If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see

I'll be the light to guide you

// Count on me

28.10

So as long as I live I love you

Will have and hold you

You look so beautiful in white

And from now till my very last breath

This day I'll cherish

You look so beautiful in white

Tonight

What we have is timeless

My love is endless

30.10

How it's laid to rest

It's enough to make kings and vagabonds

Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn

That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn

There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors

When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

// can you feel the love tonight?

04.11

I don't want to live without you

… Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You oughta know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

07.11

I can be your hero, baby

11.11

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the Dancing Queen

18.11

I'll be your strength

I'll give you hope

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call

Was standing here all along

And I will take you in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you

This I promise you

"Blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear" - Matthew 13:16

Daddy's playlist for me 🥲💽💛 revisiting this reminds me of what a sweet Father I have..indeed, how could a human compare? Haha

💌

Been unwell even before V day and have been staying home these days cause I lost my voice haha

 
But that gave me a chance to try smth new! Hehe turned my handwriting into a font and I'm so so happy w how it turned out!

During the process of trying to figure out how to do it, I came across a vid about selling fonts and decided, why not! Alr spent so much effort on it so might as well haha

Introducing..

The Love Letters (Letters in the alphabet and letters as in 💌)

...

So yes my shop is up!! Hehe took a lot of time to perfect it and I'd be so thrilled if anyone buys my font! Heh

Sidenote, isn't it amazing how side creative projects take our minds off things we don't wanna think about? Heh. Love indulging my creative side..be it through dancing, writing, remixing music or creating content. Thank You God for hobbies I enjoy 😌

/ 23 Feb edit. I did it again. Came up w another font haha cause I'm on MC today. Anw this journey made me think of how God had also put in much thought into creating me :') and how much joy it brought Him. Also, just like how I like including Easter eggs in my fonts, God does the same w me! Like giving me 4 lines on my pinky instead of 3 hahaha. Hmm what else.. being able to dance without going for classes? Heh. I think I discovered that after Os! V interesting that we get to discover our Easter eggs from God aka hidden talents along the way ☺️

for the rest of my life, I want the rest of my life 💛

- rest from unrealistic expectations and from chasing approval 😌

该放就放

再想也没有用

傻傻等待

他也不会。。

--

今夜的风有点奇怪
吹不散乌云的期待
就像正在等待的我
My babe oh

早班的飞机还不来
何时能降落在我的怀中
夹杂的是哪一种脆弱

每当世界不讲道理
每当天气还没有放晴。。

God it's so hard to keep my eyes up. Things don't make sense. I don't know how long more I can wait..😢

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

Really? I think I should give up tho. It's been way too long.

Why am I now not content w just having You? 😞

You want someone who is always doing smth for God. I just wanna enjoy God all the time; not be preoccupied w the doing. 🙂

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIJNn5ANaXV/

31 May. Been sick for a week and imylc.

Someone asked me how I am today. I haven't replied cause I haven't really sorted my emotions out. So here I am.

Met my RO who couldn't give me an absolute answer if I'd be promoted next year. It's been 6 years. He said P said it's not right and would check with HR if I'm still not promoted. Nice to know but..doesn't P always decide who gets promoted? Don't they know the promotion list long before it's out? I guess I'll only have my answers when I get to talk to him.

And then after school, during the dept meeting, I felt very strongly that my HOD favours another colleague and wants to give her opportunities. The favoured continues to get favour. I guess I feel sad about this too, and it has only strengthened my resolve to apply for a transfer next year. Long overdue, I tell myself.

Been thinking if I should share my story on social media. Would things be better? People might sympathise and be angry on my behalf but..would anything actually get done? Do I really have to question MOE on social media and ask if things have been fair? I think about what might happen and honestly, don't have high hopes that I'd be compensated in any way.

And then there are gonna be people who ask why I didn't transfer earlier. I did think about it almost every year.

2018: too early to trf. I was given the option by MOE to do so at the EOY but my then VP gave me the letter after the deadline

2019: So much happened that I asked P if I could go in May. He persuaded me to stay. And after ranking, told me that I should go somewhere new cause the KPs said unfavourable things about me. But it was too late. Appn period was over. He apologized. And I somehow felt peace about staying (on hindsight, was that a pseudo sense of peace? I really don't know) + a Christian colleague told me "the devil wants you to go, but God wants you to stay".

2020: mental health was at its worst. I guess being in a toxic environment really took its toll on me. I wanted out of the ranking system. I couldn't go on and had to take NPL for 4 months. Missed the appn period for transferring yet again.

2022: had in mind to trf again cause I wasn't getting a role I wanted even tho I've requested for it a few times. Was really, really considering to do it in 2023.

2023: looked through the open postings and narrowed down to some but nearing the end of the deadline, I spoke to a colleague I'm doing a proj w and she said my idea is v good. So since we have the base in this school, I thought I would stay to see to its completion. 

Other pros I listed:

- a class I really like
- my preferred level
- a v good coform
- good RO (next year's one also confirmed alr)
- nice level colleagues I'm comfortable with
- nice SLs (that VP left)

Applying next year would mean I have to stay on till next year end. That'd make it 7 years in this school. Number of completion isn't it. It's high time I move on after that. Anyway said project didn't really take off. It's v raw I feel. Also heard my proj partner thought of leaving. Coform too. Plus I'd have completed the full 2 years with my current class. And dept has plans for me which I'm not keen on. 

Found smth I shared w someone before:

"Boils down to opportunities. Being in a new environment where people don't have any preconceived notions of me may help me grow more!"

I really have more than enough reasons to leave and start again. I wish I did earlier because as a BT I would have been given a mentor (in the new school). I can only hope that I will be treated kindly and get the support I need. People who believe in me, see my potential and really nurture me.