the root/ my weakness/ what God has been teaching me (Part 2!)

So..been thinking a lot about self-worth/self-esteem, fears, human nature and God's truth in trying to make sense of what has happened..

And thank God for what He revealed..here goesssss!

The greatest fear is the fear of not being accepted. It was the first fear Man had ever known and it has continued to plague all of mankind throughout history cause we were wired for connection by nature. And this fear is the cause of pride/self-centredness. See, if we are not afraid of whether or not we are accepted by ourselves/ others, we wouldn't focus on doing things to be so..

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money, possessions, fame, status, or whatever is valued more than the Lord].

- Matthew 6:24 AMP

So, we're either following God/ ourselves (our own desires/ interests)..

And this means that there's only 1 other thing we can worship - ourselves. One may say that there are others..like money/ other people (because we care about what they think)..but actually..we are the ones who decided to do that due to our own desire for acceptance/ approval (including our own). So in essence, we are caring about what WE think..so who are we really following then? Ourselves. In our natural sinful state, we consider ourselves god..

In other words..we're either following God's heart/ our own hearts........

Source: Cru

We are either self-centred/ God-centred.

That is why we can know, believe and even experience that we're loved by God and still not be satisfied because WE have decided in our hearts that something else is more important than that. For example, even something holy-sounding like feeling/ experiencing His presence which resulted from thinking that "if God loves me, then I *should* feel His presence and hear Him".. But who decided that? I did. Or,  "I don't think God should love me because I'm such a sinner".. then we are just playing judge.. and again, we are the ones who decided to put ourselves in that position. That means such mentalities are borne out of self-centredness - when God doesn't fulfill our expectations/ desires and we get angry, it means we have made our expectations/ desires greater than His (i.e. deemed ourselves more important than God). But it also means..we were still fearful that we are not accepted by God in some way too.. cause we are all driven by our beliefs which are undergirded by love or fear..

So.. let's revise that statement..

We are either driven by fear/ by love.

Since it's in our nature to be fearful, we'd naturally seek to fulfill our human desire for self-esteem. Our very nature is our weakness and the root cause of our misery on Earth. Which is why the greatest lie is that we are not accepted unless we meet certain conditions. It was the first lie man knew and all the lies we are susceptible to believing are simply variations of it. The first/ greatest lie led to the first/greatest fear which led to the first sin. Sadly, we fall into the trap all too often and constantly evaluate ourselves over and over and our self-esteem fluctuates according to how we judge ourselves.. So how do we get out of this? The only way out is to not fear at all.

And that can only happen when we really know God's love.. cause the more we know Him, the more we'd believe in Him and the easier it would be to put our fears aside.. We'd find that in Him, we are accepted no matter what and realise there's no need for us to fear anymore :')

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love].

1 John 4:18 AMP

This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

1 John 3:19-20 NIV

And so..He doesn't condemn us..because He understands our weakness completely.. :'))

For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are..

Hebrews 4:15 AMP

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you ^a free from the law of sin and death.

◄ Romans 8:1-2 ►

:'))) Still grasping and taking hold of this amazing truth..since God already accepts us because of Jesus, then we really don't have to fear/ judge ourselves anymore.. We are free from our innate fears and strong desire to judge/ esteem ourselves.. 

Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Romans 6:14 NLT

https://bible.com/bible/116/rom.6.14.NLT

Really, the Christian life is just reliving the gospel over and over again - remembering that Jesus has received God's judgement on our behalf ONCE AND FOR ALL and the verdict is fixed! Nothing good or bad we do can ever change that so we really don't have to be scared/ judge ourselves anymore! When we keep remembering this, we stop being stressed/ scared and feel true freedom! 😃

It was for this freedom that Christ set us free [completely liberating us]; therefore KEEP STANDING FIRM and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery [which you once removed]. (...) But I say, walk HABITUALLY in the [Holy] Spirit [seek Him and be responsive to His guidance], and then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the sinful nature [which responds impulsively without regard for God and His precepts]. For the sinful nature has its desire which is opposed to the Spirit, and the [desire of the] Spirit opposes the sinful nature; for these [two, the sinful nature and the Spirit] are in direct opposition to each other [continually in conflict], so that you [as believers] do not [always] do whatever [good things] you want to do. (...) Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. - Galatians 5:1, 16‭-‬17 AMP, 24‭-‬25 NLT

But since what we would naturally do and what God does are in conflict, we would only completely stop struggling when we are out of this world. We might fear again but let's keep in mind that God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to stand on our behalf in His courtroom who has redeemed for us the lifetime pass of His love..

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

John 3:16 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it [a]overflows).

John 10:10 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)

Really.. Christian = Christ i a n = without Christ, I am nothing.. 

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.  - John 15:4‭-‬5 NLT 

We can't get the right fruit if we are not at the right vine.. even if we are, we can't get the fruit by plucking it and putting it on ourselves (that's through our own efforts - and even if we somehow manage to and have some semblance of the fruit, it would rot someday). The fruit is naturally produced if we stay on the vine.. when we believe in Jesus, we are placed on it..and when we remember that He would never condemn us because of His love, we would stay there and not go back to being fearful.. this means we will continually experience Him when we realise just how much He loves us.. 

Through Him we also have access by faith into this [remarkable state of] grace in which we [firmly and safely and securely] stand. Let us rejoice in our hope and the confident assurance of [experiencing and enjoying] the glory of [our great] God [the manifestation of His excellence and power].

While we were still helpless [powerless to provide for our salvation], at the right time Christ died [as a substitute] for the ungodly. Now it is an extraordinary thing for one to willingly give his life even for an upright man, though perhaps for a good man [one who is noble and selfless and worthy] someone might even dare to die. But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Therefore, since we have now been justified [declared free of the guilt of sin] by His blood, [how much more certain is it that] we will be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, it is much more certain, having been reconciled, that we will be saved [from the consequences of sin] by His life [that is, we will be saved because Christ lives today]. Not only that, but we also rejoice in God [rejoicing in His love and perfection] through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received and enjoy our reconciliation [with God].

- Romans 5:2, 6‭-‬11 AMP

This was his eternal plan, which he carried out through Christ Jesus our Lord. Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

- Ephesians 3:11-‬12‭, ‬16‭-‬20 NLT

So may we know His love so well that we'd not be blinded by any fear/ lie.. now and forevermore!! ✨✨✨ In Jesus name, amen 😌💛💛💛

//edited in June 2020

// NTS

"Wholesome self-esteem is the conviction that one is as worthwhile as anyone else, but not more so. On one hand, we feel a quiet gladness to be who we are and a sense of dignity that comes from realizing that we share what all humans possess — intrinsic worth. On the other hand, those with self-esteem remain humble, realizing that everyone has much to learn and that we are all really in the same boat."

We'd like to be without our weaknesses....but that's what makes us real. And therefore relatable..and that's what can make our ministry more effective because we can empathize with others.

// Revisiting quotes I came across long long ago....

"There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which every one in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people, except Christians, ever imagine that they are guilty themselves. […] There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. […] The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility." - C. S. Lewis

"An idol is anything more important to you than God. Anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God. Anything you seek to give you what only God can give. Anything that is so central and essential to your life, that should lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living."

“If I have that, then I will feel like my life has meaning. Then I’ll know I have value. And I’ll feel significant and secure.”

“Counterfeit gods come in structures…sin in our hearts affects our basic motivational drives. Some people are strongly motivated by influence and power, while others are motivated by approval or appreciation. Some want emotional and physical comfort than anything else. Others want security and the control of their environment. People with the deep idol of power, do not mind being unpopular to gain influence. People who are most motivated by approval are the opposite. They’ll gladly lose power and control as long as everyone thinks well of them. Each deep idol, power, approval, comfort or control generates a different set of fears and hopes. Surface idols are things like money, spouse, children, through which our deep idols seek fulfillment. We’re often superficial in the analysis of our idol structures, for example money can be a surface idol that serves to satisfy more foundational influences. Some people want lots of money as a way to control their world and life, and such people usually don’t spend much money and they live very modestly. They keep it all safely saved and invested so that they can feel completely save in the world. Others want money for access to social circles and to make themselves beautiful and attractive. These people do spend their money on themselves in lavish ways. Other people want money because it gives them so much power over others. In every case, money functions as an idol, and yet because of various deep idols it results in very different patterns of behavior. The person using money to serve a deep idol of control will often feel superior to others and use money to obtain power or social approval. In every case however, money idolatry slaves and distorts lives.” - interesting analogy using money. But motivations stem from beliefs..which come from the heart..which is deceitful above all things..and so we go back to square one..or do we? Haha unless we go back to God ;)

“If you ask for something that you don’t get…you may become sad and disappointed, then you go on. Those are not your functional masters. But when you pray and hope for something and you don’t get it and you respond with explosive anger or deep despair, then you may have found your real god.”

“You may know about the love of Christ with your head, but not your heart. How can that be remedied? This takes spiritual disciplines. Spiritual disciplines are forms of worship. And it is worship that is the final way to replace the idols of your heart. You can’t just get relief by figuring out your idols intellectually. You have to actually get the peace that Jesus gives…and that only comes when you worship. Analysis can help you discover truths, but then you have to pray them into your heart. That takes time.”

- Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods

“We habitually and instinctively look to other things besides God and his grace as our justification, hope, significance, and security. We believe the gospel at one level, but at deeper levels we do not. Human approval, professional success, power and influence, family and clan identity - all of these things serve as our heart’s ‘functional trust’ rather than what Christ has done, and as a result we continue to be driven to a great degree by fear, anger, and a lack of self-control. You cannot change such things through mere willpower, through learning Biblical principles and trying to carry them out. We can only change permanently as we take the gospel more deeply into our understanding and into our hearts. We must feed on the gospel, as it were, digesting it and making it part of ourselves. That is how we grow.” 

- Timothy Keller, The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith