Sunday, March 15, 2020
keep it simple
Monday, January 20, 2020
the root/ my weakness/ what God has been teaching me (Part 2!)
No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money, possessions, fame, status, or whatever is valued more than the Lord].- Matthew 6:24 AMP
Source: Cru |
It was for this freedom that Christ set us free [completely liberating us]; therefore KEEP STANDING FIRM and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery [which you once removed]. (...) But I say, walk HABITUALLY in the [Holy] Spirit [seek Him and be responsive to His guidance], and then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the sinful nature [which responds impulsively without regard for God and His precepts]. For the sinful nature has its desire which is opposed to the Spirit, and the [desire of the] Spirit opposes the sinful nature; for these [two, the sinful nature and the Spirit] are in direct opposition to each other [continually in conflict], so that you [as believers] do not [always] do whatever [good things] you want to do. (...) Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. - Galatians 5:1, 16-17 AMP, 24-25 NLT
For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.John 3:16 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it [a]overflows).
John 10:10 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:4-5 NLT
Through Him we also have access by faith into this [remarkable state of] grace in which we [firmly and safely and securely] stand. Let us rejoice in our hope and the confident assurance of [experiencing and enjoying] the glory of [our great] God [the manifestation of His excellence and power].
While we were still helpless [powerless to provide for our salvation], at the right time Christ died [as a substitute] for the ungodly. Now it is an extraordinary thing for one to willingly give his life even for an upright man, though perhaps for a good man [one who is noble and selfless and worthy] someone might even dare to die. But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Therefore, since we have now been justified [declared free of the guilt of sin] by His blood, [how much more certain is it that] we will be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, it is much more certain, having been reconciled, that we will be saved [from the consequences of sin] by His life [that is, we will be saved because Christ lives today]. Not only that, but we also rejoice in God [rejoicing in His love and perfection] through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received and enjoy our reconciliation [with God].- Romans 5:2, 6-11 AMP
This was his eternal plan, which he carried out through Christ Jesus our Lord. Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.- Ephesians 3:11-12, 16-20 NLT
Sunday, January 12, 2020
Sunday, December 15, 2019
Why would God call Singapore the Antioch of Asia if there was no one to fulfil that call? There are dreams that God has placed in you that will come true in spite of our failures as long as we allow Him to work.
But are you willing to surrender yourself as a vessel for Him to fulfil those dreams?”
- https://thir.st/blog/god-has-placed-a-dream-inside-of-you-jason-wong-fopx/
"..it takes sheer determination to fulfil your destiny.
If you need a reminder of this truth, just look at Jesus, said Roland. Even though His ultimate destiny was the Cross, Jesus, too, prayed the night before His death: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…” (Luke 22:42).
That was essentially Jesus saying “God, I don’t want to do this,” Roland pointed out. This was the man with one assignment, one mission and one destiny – and yet He too asked for a way out.
“Jesus shows us you can pray these kind of prayers. But Jesus says after that… ‘yet not my will, but yours be done.'”
“The pressure of your destiny can lead you to reject it,” shared Roland, confessing that there have been times when he felt that his calling was just too much to handle, moments when he simply didn’t want to preach.
The life of Jesus shows us something: There is someone who is depending on you to be who you need to be – and they need you to be determined. Who’s connected to your destiny? Who’s connected to your calling?
“If the enemy can’t keep you from being saved, he’ll keep you from operating in your destiny,” said Roland. “The devil will say: ‘I want them to compromise in their purity, the way they talk about people… Because if they compromise, they’ll never walk in the calling that they have.’
“What happens to so many people is they give in. Let me urge you: Don’t give in,” he stressed. “Run if you have to. Joseph did it – he ran from Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39). Sometimes in your life you’ve just got to run. Don’t allow the devil to win in your life.”
Roland said: “It’s hard being a holy man and woman of God. It gets hard being encouraging to other people who are mean to you. It gets hard being aware that God can use you despite of your insecurities. But you need to make this decision. Don’t give in to your dark side.”
- https://thir.st/blog/your-destiny-has-a-dark-side-fopx-tyshone-roland/
“When God tells you to do something, He’s not asking you to figure out how to do it. It’s up to you to obey. It’s up to God to do it.”
- https://thir.st/blog/fopx-surrender-ushers-supernatural-ben-fitzgerald-urges-youth/
“It’s okay if you’ve done everything that you know how to do – read your Bible, prayed, fasted, worshipped – and all you can do left is stand. That is enough.”
- https://thir.st/blog/stay-where-you-are-even-if-you-cant-find-jesus-tyshone-roland-at-fopx-go-conference/
"Once we take hold of our God-given identity, we need to yield fully to His call and purpose. To surrender fully to God’s call is to withhold nothing and allow Him to take and use our lives in whatever way He sees fit. This requires us to acknowledge that our strength comes from God alone.
The only resource that’s of use to us is being close to the Father."
- https://thir.st/blog/fopx-making-2020-your-year-of-the-impossible/
Thursday, December 05, 2019
lest I forget
Wednesday, November 06, 2019
🌪️
Friday, September 13, 2019
His answer to me..in an article I came across..
Whatever you face — temptations, trials, opposition — God will give you His grace, and His grace will be sufficient for you to overcome.
- Psalm 103:13-14 NIV
Thursday, August 08, 2019
🎢
Yes, yes it's possible.
To go all the way down, and then go high up, and then down again......but it can go up again..! Life's a rollercoasterrrrr.
Think 2018 & 2019 = years of trial and error.
"Don't let failure go to your heart and don't let success go to your head"
Dear God, help me remember this. On the bright side, good to learn this (first part last year, 2nd part this year) early on. Haha painful lessons for both but yeah probably necessary for the future.
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Changes the past few months:
- no longer think people can be categorized by MBTI
- no longer have the desire to go to Somalia......& thus...
(fighting against my own ambivalence)
- no longer feel the need to have 1 rest day where I don't go out at all?? In fact I can't remember when I last stayed home the entire day without feeling bored at all......
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"Every master was once a beginner"
Beginner's mindset!
"Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you. Not the worst."
Amen. Dear God, help me do it again, this time, with so much more self-control than before. With Your wisdom and grace. Let anger, bitterness, doubt and pride not take root no matter what happens.
"There are those who think themselves called to humility by the Christian faith, and by this understand that to mean adopting a life of oppression, humiliation, and suffering. There are those who think that because they are called to be humble, they must remain under the rule of violent and oppressive spouses, bosses, and rulers, who think that anything but demure self-effacement is to violate their calling to humility.
But this is not humility!"
Lesson to learn.....hmmmmm..
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Something must be wrong if the fluctuations happen way too often..right? I wish I'm stronger than this..but smth in me tells me that I've already been so strong.........I'm just tired..haha I think I've been so impatient with myself..Just keep picking at the wound that hasn't healed..it takes time...it takes time.....
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Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Matthew 5:5 NIV
"..a conflict in which an individual is unable to control or influence circumstances. Typical human responses in such circumstances include frustration, bitterness, or anger, but the one who is guided by God's spirit accepts God's ability to direct events (Gal 5:23 ; Eph 4:2 ; Col 3:12 ; 1 Tim 6:11 ; Titus 3:2 ; James 1:21 ; 3:13). Meekness is therefore an active and deliberate acceptance of undesirable circumstances that are wisely seen by the individual as only part of a larger picture.
Meekness is not a resignation to fate, a passive and reluctant submission to events, for there is little virtue in such a response."
But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature together with its passions and appetites. If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage—our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit]. We must not become conceited, challenging or provoking one another, envying one another.
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To feel excited waking up each morning - that must have been a luxury. Because up until now, I miss it so much. It was me for the first 4 months this year. And then it left. And I keep trying..trying..and trying to "get it back" but to no avail..and now I realise..it's not "normal" because most people don't feel that way......most days. And so I shouldn't expect so much......it's normal not to feel excited every day. It's completely normal. Don't push yourself so hard...just to recreate that feeling....feelings are deceptive......I'm just blessed to have had it for that period of time. Tho I really do miss having such a strong sense of purpose......God help me move on......can't go on like this......
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Grace
"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God."
2 Corinthians 3:5 NIV
"I know I'm filled to be emptied again"...
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this same attitude in yourselves which was in Christ Jesus [look to Him as your example in selfless humility], who, although He existed in the form and unchanging essence of God [as One with Him, possessing the fullness of all the divine attributes—the entire nature of deity], did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped or asserted [as if He did not already possess it, or was afraid of losing it]; but emptied Himself [without renouncing or diminishing His deity, but only temporarily giving up the outward expression of divine equality and His rightful dignity] by assuming the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men [He became completely human but was without sin, being fully God and fully man].
PHILIPPIANS 2:3-7 AMP
"Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me"..
How can I claim to know of God's grace unless I demonstrate it myself? - question I've been asking myself. Dear God, help me live a life that shows Your grace.
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爱了就别伪装
迷失了也别彷徨
不管未来怎样
你都要保持坚强
如果明天你的心
依然还在流浪
我愿意承受这份爱
陪着你
打造一片天地
我的世界从此以后多了一个你
每天都是一出戏
无论情节浪漫或多离奇
这主角
是你
我的世界从此以后多了一个你
有时天晴有时雨
阴天时候我会告诉你
我爱你
胜过彩虹的美丽
#Daddyslove :')
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Carry Me, Daddy
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all
I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"
So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
Wednesday, May 01, 2019
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Living with God
"While I am here, I will be a child at home with my God; the whole world shall be his house to me; and when I ascend into the upper chamber I shall not change my company, nor even change the house; I shall only go to dwell in the upper storey of the house of the Lord forever."
Friday, December 07, 2018
"Why?"
Monday, December 03, 2018
💛
-
Too good to say goodbye.
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One day..
"People with the gift of teaching are consummate debaters. It is how they convince and help others to learn. It doesn’t matter if they are in the office or at home, people with the gift of teaching are constantly thinking on their feet. Teachers need to know the reasoning behind concepts or ideas. They do not take anything at face value. Teachers can appear argumentative while they are simply trying to gain further understanding.
"Like the Perceiver, the Ruler will give admonition and warning of upcoming situations. Like the Teacher, a Ruler will provide sound counsel and instructive reasoning to convince the people of the common goal. Like the Encourager, a Ruler will motivate and inspire others to achieve and succeed. Like a Server and Giver, a Ruler is very task driven and independent."
INFJ PERSONALITY (“THE ADVOCATE”)
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.- Martin Luther King
Thursday, November 01, 2018
Struggle isn't against flesh and blood
- Romans 12:17-21 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/rom.12.17-21.NLT
- Psalms 37:1-24 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.37.1-24.NLT
Saturday, June 09, 2018
/hɑː(r)t/
Its the end of the world in my mind
Then Your voice pulls me back
Like a wake-up call
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know, what I didn't know
Because You make me believe in myself
When nobody else can help
Because you live God
My world
Has twice as many stars in the sky
I survived.
I'm alive again
Cause of You, made it through every storm
What is life? What's the use?
If you're killing time
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I want to fly looking your eyes
Because You make me believe in myself
When nobody else can help
Because You live God
My world
Has twice as many stars in the sky
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what You've given me
Always
Because you make me believe in myself
When nobody else can help
Because you live God
My world
Has twice as many stars in the sky
Because You make me believe in myself
When nobody else can help
Because You live God
My world
Has everything I need to survive
Because you live, I live
I live
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
thir.st/blog/upside-down-logic-god/
God doesn’t call us to kingdom work because we have the best qualifications or skills. In the upside-down logic of our awesome God, He has “chosen the foolish things to confound the wise” (1 Corinthians 1:27)
Really related to this for far too often I had been thinking I'm not the best person to teach my class..
Friday, April 06, 2018
the root/ my weakness/ the thing God is trying to teach me?
- Feelings of inadequacy in previous experiences - cycling, SM - made me just wanna avoid it altogether..but SM duties (the bare minimum) were a weekly affair..I've thought that: never mind if I'm not good at these things..as long as I still can teach kids (about the only thing I thought I'm actually decent at), I'm not a failure.......but this notion or to put it more succinctly, this belief was challenged right from the beginning of the year..I never really realised how it became such an integral part of how I determined my self-worth..how it was actually a core belief within..which explains why my self-esteem was crushed so badly..each time a bad incident occurs, it dips and by the end of each week, I felt like a complete failure..and the reason why I constantly had to think of things I still could do to remind myself that I have other abilities..
- Sometime in Term 1 I came to the conclusion that God was teaching me about identity and grace (life-long process ah this one..haha)..and while identity is tied to self-worth, I think maybe the more accurate term to describe what I'm learning this season would be self-worth..I need to learn that even if God took away ALL my abilities (including the ones I think I still have for now), I am NOT a failure (I learnt that it's okay to fail..but it's one thing to think that way..and another to believe that you are a failure..) and I still have worth, simply because I am His..this is a difficult concept to wrap my mind around..OMGOSH..I THINK..I HAVE GOTTEN TO THE CORE..I HAVE FINALLY REALISED WHAT IT IS GOD HAS BEEN TRYING TO TELL ME..
As I said, there have been answers here and there..but the more I heard, the deeper I dug, somehow I felt more and more like it's my fault that things are the way it is..like the identity thing..I felt that it's my fault that I tied my identity to being a good teacher..and all the reminders of Prov 3:5-6 I've been seeing everywhere..and feeling like "yea I guess I'm not trusting enough..that's why I'm being tested.." and even the "Just wait" poem I read yesterday..and then God telling me/ me remembering that I said what gives me ultimate satisfaction is being close to God..it just made me feel worse..cause it seems like I failed to keep to my word..so basically everything just produced feelings of condemnation in me..but little did I know..that there was a part 2 to what God wants to say (which I didn't hear yesterday) because now that I reread it, the words that stand out to me are..
"You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me
You'd not know the depth of my love
You'd never experience the fullness of love
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."
So all along, God has just been trying to tell me He really loves me NO MATTER WHAT..that in His eyes, I am precious and of worth no matter what abilities I have or don't have..I really DON'T have to be good at doing what I am supposed to do (i.e. what I've always thought is my calling) for Him to think I am worthy..omgosh......I think..this is crazy. Crazy love. And thought 2: I think this will change the way I perceive others too..it is true..knowing God's love helps you love others too......
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"
- 1 John 3:1
At the end of the day, God just wants to help me be closer to Him by knowing His love..and help me keep my word..cause He knows it is indeed true that I am ultimately satisfied by being close to Him..and the times I feel better..and then beaten down again (and begging God to release me from this pain..)..this cycle will just keep repeating as long as I think my self-worth is tied to my ability to fulfill the calling I think He has for me..
The lesson now is not "God is strong and good and I am weak and terrible" (though that's also true..we are all but sinners)..the lesson is not meant to condemn me..and crush my soul..
Omgoodness..suddenly remembering the words of Eph 3..
"And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
- Eph 3:18-19 (NLT)
Saturday, March 17, 2018
Things to help
- God knows what I'll be at the end of Term 2, at the end of this year, at the end of this bond. He is in control of all things..He knows how it'll all end..He knows all that I feel. He has it ALL planned out, unlike me. Haha which is good..He already knows what's gonna happen next week..
- Stop thinking of how I'm gonna do everything I need to to do..just one day at a time is enough..if that's the best I can do, it's enough.
- Being prepared really helps to reduce the anxiety..and enables me to have a positive frame of mind..
- Even the best have to relearn things..things they used to be good at can be the same things they have trouble doing after a while..so so what if I think I was better during contract? Cause I think by the end of Term 1 that time at least things were better than they are not? BUT PROGRESS IS NOT LINEAR and it applies to EVERYONE.
- Told mummy about the thought process in the previous post and she asked "Then what's the best that can happen?" Smth which I didn't really focus on..my answer..
- I can manage my class well every day, the kids listen and don't misbehave..
- I believe in myself again
- I teach them well
- I ENJOY IT EVERYDAY
- I get to show them God's love everyday and do it like it's my calling!
- Think about the good that happened in class - though I push it out often because I feel it's not enough..cause I think it doesn't mean that when there's good, the class would behave better the next day..because I still failed..day in and out..but there was good..and sometime during the term I did make it a point to list them down on my phone/ in my journal..but towards the end I guess I just felt like such a failure cause one term down and things didn't seem to be picking up..but let's see...
- Friday started out alright..got the kids who were playing in the toilet to stand in the front and warned them sternly..
- Class photo-taking..the boys and girls wanted me to stand on "their" side..
- K and E helped at the end of the day to clean the class..
- Holidays - saw J when I was out (really just wanted to hide) and some others in school..all called my name really loudly???
- thought of the times I praised J..even though she refused to greet last Wed (???)..she did the actions for the school song nicely..she helped with the plug when I was having trouble with it..and every time I call for ICT leaders she comes running..