“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
- Kurt Vonnegut

Perhaps..Valentine's, Christmas..days where people are generally happier and you can really feel a lighter atmosphere in the air..these days are better because everyone is being nice to one another. Season of love, season of giving..how nice it'd be if everyone is like that everyday..how nice if I feel so loved everyday that I would always feel like passing it on..

I feel really bad for treating people badly. I'm sorry. It's because I'm not feeling that good myself..people who are hurt tend to hurt others unintentionally because they are hurt themselves..and the only way is for someone else to take away the hurt..but I'm thankful..and I'm gonna say this although somehow whenever I say something is good/ I'm okay, things go the other way round..as if I'm not allowed to say good things..

Anyway..thankful for that pat on my shoulder today..thankful for that prayer..thankful for a listening ear..thankful that I don't have to share what I don't wanna share..oh and..thankful for that message..which was really unexpected..which I'd have completely missed because I haven't been checking social media much these days..and unexpected encouragement from the most unexpected person does seem to be able to make you feel unexpectedly better..so thank God for it.

Thank you. Because things really do seem pretty bleak when you're tired and feel like you're losing/ have lost faith in humanity.

Circumstances can really change your perspective of life. I pray for a positive perspective of life even when the going gets tough..I pray for my spirit to be light even when things threaten to weigh me down..I pray to be able to love people even when I don't feel the same from them..I pray to always have hope no matter how many times I get disappointed..so that I can always love those around me..

Things will get better..things will always get better..cause if it's not okay..it's not the end. :)

LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEE

/Pretty sure I'm not going through this cause I need to relate to someone but because of my own choices..haha but it's cool if God uses this experience just so someone else would feel better and won't feel as alone as I did..I wish I can tell everyone that if they ever need a listening ear for anything..I'll be there cause I know how horrible it is not to have one. But the irony is..maybe I don't really wanna hear everyone out..because maybe part of what someone says has got to do with me..but okay la that's just one person and I guess he just has to find someone else to pour out his heart to la haha..but I really feel that..it is when people pour their hearts out..when people are vulnerable that I feel like we're all human and we all just really need someone..

Ah God..it's really not easy to be nice to someone who has hurt you like crazy..emotions can overwhelm you..and make you forget the bigger picture..that's when you need friends to remind you of the bigger picture..when I think of how short life is..then it's like "aiya..whatever la..don't wanna be angry or anything also.." but honestly..it's just not that easy..it's never that easy..but God..I pray You'll just give me joy and strength every day to face life..so I can continue to be an encouragement to people..haha

And if I might just be a bit more demanding, can I pray also for more unexpected encouragement from people? Haha I didn't realise how much it'd impact me until I experienced it..and I also pray for more ears that listen maybe? And more importantly, I pray that I won't take these people for granted and will be able to do the same for them when they need one.

Help me to focus on the positive things of people..help me to remember the good they've done..thank You God..thank You God..

TIME TO SHOWER! =D

/Oh oh before I forget, I just wanna say that I love reading other people's blogs when I can relate to them especially when I'm not feeling good cause I feel like I'm not alone in it hahaha

HAHAHA OMGOSH JOKE..IRONY OF THE DAY
Please look at what I wrote in 2011..
"oh yea and I had this thought earlier on - so many girls put all their hopes in their relationship. And end up feeling insecure and confused..even though they keep trying to tell themselves that it'll all work out, and even though they do have happy moments with their boyfriends, I seriously think that such times are just temporal..I've seen so many of such examples..and I never ever wanna be like them! I wanna put all of hope in God and God alone! =D Cause God's the only one who will never ever fail you. That's why it's so important to have a close relationship with God! =D"

Hahahahaa ironic that I ended up being the kind of girl I didn't wanna be..HAHA JOKEEEE..I'm sorry for judging you all 3 years ago!! I now know how hard it is NOT to fall into that trap even with a stable relationship with God..hahaha what a lesson learnt the hard way! See what I mean when I say "somehow whenever I say something is good/ I'm okay, things go the other way round..as if I'm not allowed to say good things"..hahahaha joke if I'm using my phone now I think this warrants a lot of the laugh cry emoji!!

And it's weird how I saw that cause my tagboard is so dead that when I scroll through old messages I still can see those sent in 2011 hahaha

Hahahaha I'm still here. Forgot to say something I usually say at the end of every blog post!! God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D okay REALLY GONNA BATHE NOW! Hahaha

Bangkok Trip!

Haha I thought I better write down everything I want to before I forget!! So here goes!!

There was so much to thank God for!! 

Including the good weather which was better than I expected!! Haha though there were slight drizzles, it didn't really dampen our mood! =D and also, none of us fell sick or got a stomachache from eating too much food!! Hahaha oh yea and thank God for providing the strength and energy we needed even though we were so tired from the lack of sleep!! It's really amazing how I managed to wake up so early (6/7am) when I would be waking up at 11plus before the trip hahaha so yea really thank God I survived!! 🎉🎉🎉 and last but not least, thank God we didn't get robbed or anything!! =D

Oh yea along the way because I felt like everything is so surreal and like I'm still in Singapore, I started writing the differences I observed! Haha so apart from the different language, there were:

- Tuk tuk!!

Honestly one of the best parts of the Bangkok trip hahaha wished it could have gone faster though!! Love feeling the wind in my hair hahaha 🍃

- Pink cabs

Haha you'd see them everywhere! Such a bright and cheery colour! :)

- Food court card

In every food court you HAVE to use the card!! Lol I was so stumped the first time when I handed cash to the stallholder and she gestured at somewhere else and said "card!" Haha

- Tissue box on every (eating) table! =D

Love it! So convenient! Haha and good for lazy people like me hahaha and it wasn't just in the food courts! You'd find them even on the streets as long as the stall is selling food and there are tables around! 😄👍

- Floating market!

Haha so nice buying and eating food on the boat as you go along the market!! Really cool experience!! =D

- No proper bus terminals

Haha we just stood at some random spots to wait for the bus! No bus shelter, no seats, no signs, no indication that it was a bus stop at all at some places!! Haha I'm still amazed that the locals know exactly where the bus stops are even though the system is so disorganized! Haha

- Bus conductors instead of ezlink card system!

So cool and old-school! Haha they would give you paper tickets just like how SG used to do it in the 80s!!

- BTS system! The card and token!

Haha yea like I mentioned the transport system is disorganized and not uniform!! So unlike Singapore, you don't use a single card for all your transport needs to get around the country! They use the card at some stations and a little round red token at some others! And instead of tapping your token to get out of the station, you'd have to slot it into the machine when you get off! Haha pretty interesting! :)

- No "dividers" for seats on the train from airport!

Haha I thought it's a pretty clever way to maximize space! But I was told it wouldn't work in Singapore cause people would complain of others sitting too close to them and it would increase opportunities for chee ko peks to prey on young girls 😪 haha oh well!!

Haha yea that's about it!! Haha quite tired now cause we all woke up early everyday so we could explore more places haha and I woke up early again today for the June camp! But thank God I managed to take a nap in the afternoon so it isn't too bad!

Haha yup so God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Memories to treasure always

Was packing my stuff and I realised I'm so, so blessed. More than I can ever imagine.

My mum did this handmade card/booklet for me for my 6th birthday and took special effort to put captions for every single picture she printed. If I didn't remember wrongly she said her colleagues helped to do some of the drawings. Sweet daooooo..

Looks like I started being a grammar nazi at a really young age..look at that comma! Hahaha must have been thinking that there should be a comma somewhere but I wasn't sure where so I just placed it in the middle hahahaa

Hahahaha super funny I was trying to name all the characters I saw in the booklet but it looks like I got them all wrong!

My mummy is so awesome..!!

I also found this card my maid made for me when I was 12..super touching really..God has really used people around me to speak to me..such words of wisdom..thank you so much Aunty!! Yes indeed..9 years on, God is still the one guiding and helping me to make my dreams come true :')

THANK YOU GOD FOR PLACING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO LOVE ME!!

So yesterday I taught the P5 and 6 about flexibility..using Barak and Deborah's story..in which case, Barak was the inflexible one because he wasn't flexible and didn't really want to obey God..but honestly, if I could teach it again, I would tell the kids that sometimes we are ALL like Barak..and they don't have to beat themselves up for being like him..cause it feels kind of hypocritical that I'm telling them it's wrong to have such an attitude when I'm sometimes like that also..

The thing is, if we are so perfect, we wouldn't need God.

Just a few moments ago, I caught myself thinking of a "what if"..and realised how similar it is to yesterday's story..actually Barak didn't want to obey God because he was afraid..actually come to think of it..that sounds a lot like Jonah..who ran away haha well the Bible is full of characters who are real..and who are just like us. Deep inside, we humans haven't changed much since the start of time..have we haha we still have our fears and insecurities..and we all want to be loved.

But anyway, my "what if" wasn't to doubt something God commanded me to do..there are just some things I'm not sure about cause I'm not sure what God thinks of it! Oh well!

Update!

Wowowow. It's been really long since I last updated! Well..it's crazy but true: 2013 is coming to an end..lots of thoughts on my mind but I thought it'd be good to see what my schedule looks like this holidays! (YESSSS MY FIRST SEM IN NIE HAS ENDED WOOHOOOO)

27 (Wed): Dental appointment - FINALLY THIS. It's been more than 2 months since I last went!! Omgoodness..couldn't find an appropriate date cause my dentist went on a holiday..okay long story but yea finally gonna fix my teeth!! I REALLY PRAY THE GAPS CLOSE REALLY SOON..HOPEFULLY BEFORE MY 21ST!! Hahahaa would be a really nice present!! Cause they've been there for so long!!

28: NIE Crusade Gathering!

29: Unify Leaders Meeting!

30: P6 Outing!

2 Dec: Dry Run for Minion Camp

4: Prepare materials for camp!

5-6: Minion Rush Camp!!

12-14: Camp Unify! =D

25: CHRISTMAS!! YAYYY hahaha

Okay la currently it's like that! =D I'm recovering from a really bad sore throat and cough now (haha I lost my voice after my exam!!) so thank God!!! Honestly I've got a lot to thank God for..for being with me throughout the entire semester..I actually had a really bad stomachache during my Math paper and couldn't think straight but somehow all I felt was God's peace after the paper..like everything will be okay and God's gonna take care of my results so I've nothing to fear! =D Hahaha it's crazy but there were really a number of questions I couldn't do because of all the pain and tiredness I was feeling but yea God's in control!! And I wanna thank God also for the people who were with me throughout..for bearing with how crazy I could sometimes be..all my angst and what not on days I don't get enough sleep..these people are really God-sent! =D

Recently there has been a lot of articles circulating around on FB regarding relationships like "20 things to look out for in a husband" or something and honestly I've read some of them..on first glance it seems really harmless..I mean if you're single and would like to get married someday some of it is really good advice but as I came across more and more of such articles, I think it isn't really healthy for me to read them because 1, I end up having expectations and that adds stress to the other party in a relationship and 2, (which is what I thought of today) I realise I've been placing the focus on the wrong relationship..I should be working on my relationship with God! I really have to get this drilled into my heart and head: when I focus on my relationship with God, the other relationships in my life would fall into place. So yea 3, because they distract me from what is truly important.

You know something? Wrong priorities lead to cracks in relationships. When you keep your eye on the wrong destination, things go wrong. Things may seem really good on the surface but in reality, it's not a bed of roses, not at all. It's like you're supposed to climb a tree but if you keep looking at the ground and STAYING on the ground, you're not gonna achieve the goal.

Haha okay that paragraph sounds really vague but I guess it was more for myself..okay gonna end abruptly haha God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Lessons learnt

• NEVER, EVER go to a printing shop to print something. Today I had to print a coupon from Groupon and I paid $1.40 for just one page. $1 for using the internet and 40 cents for the printing.
• YES something is wrong with my printer. My computer hasn't been detecting my printer for some time and this problem has caused me a lot of trouble. Had to print a lot of stuff at school when previously I could just print them at home!! Seriously, if you have no problem printing stuff at home, be glad!
• On a happier note, 399 said he'll be coming to pass me a new printer USB cable so I'm really hoping that it'll solve the problem!!

Sunnyside

Found a new song that I love a lot!! Here are the lyrics! =D

Begin where it ends, end to begin
Knock on that door so you can get in
And don’t mind the time, forget all that’s been

Get lost in a park, find a tree that will last
Find a secret path that leads to a house
Climb the stairs to the roof, lay flat on your back

No use feeling down, get rid of that frown
Take a walk on the sunnyside
Take a walk on the sunnyside of

Wash up in a stream, let it take you away
Through forests and seas, wherever it may
Fill up the space with your own melodies
And every once in a while when you miss the breeze
Just look at the scars marking your knees
And know that again now is where it’s at

No use feeling down, get rid of that frown
Take a walk on the sunnyside
Take a walk on the sunnyside of town

But when the clouds come closing in
You feel the raindrops on your skin
Let it pour, let it be okay
Until you know another sunny day

No use feeling down, get rid of that frown
Take a walk on the sunnyside
Take a walk on the sunnyside of town
Take a walk on the sunnyside of town

Me taking a walk on the sunnyside! Was initially feeling rather down until I heard this song!

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Things to thank God for in this week.. =D

No Monday blues! - longest day but I felt happy at the end of the day! =D 

and thank God I wore shorts!! Cause the weather was so hot so it felt a lot better wearing shorts! Usually I wear track pants! Haha

LJ to Healthzone - had to split my class into two because there were 3 classes going but only 2 buses and when I split my class, a lot of my students actually wanted to follow me and a few of the girls even cried because they couldn't..at that point of time even though they were feeling sad and everything I suddenly felt very appreciated because I know I've built rapport with them..

And it was really relaxed that day!!

My cute little ones that I look forward to seeing everyday!! I actually have one girl who will look out for me every single day and the first thing she says to me would be "I've finally found you!" As if I've been long for a very long time hahaha

Friday - READERS THEATRE IS OVER!! So happy!! =D really relaxed also!! Only had less than 1 hour with my class! Cause of the performances!! Felt quite bad because i promised my students that there would be math quiz! And some of them even asked to go back to class and they were asking about the math quiz!! Haha =D

So it was very relaxing!

Kit Kat!! =D

I really love my class!! =D and every week I'm counting down..feels like such a short time already!! I'll miss them!

Saturday - really fulfilling because I took a boy who is supposedly hard to handle and he is actually very motivated to do the tests!! =D

And I spent a good time with my family celebrating my papa's 50th birthday! Thank God for my crazy family! We played an arcade game together even papa!!

Sunday - really thank God cause I didn't really get a good sleep last night and I was quite tired but during service I suddenly felt a lot better praising God!! =D =D and after writing all the things that I wanna thank God for in this week! =D

I realized I have been working myself too hard!

I realized I have been working myself too hard! No wonder so tired! So from next week onwards change strategy! =D

I followed the scheme of work quite closely! Which means after I teach a topic, I just go on to the next one. Even though I do go through corrections with them in class, they don't do their corrections and some even do them wrongly!! So now a lot of them have a lot of corrections undone/ wrong corrections (aiyo) so now I 拼命 make them do corrections/re-corrections whenever I can: during assembly, when I see them before school, during MT (which is the only time when I'm free!!)..haha yea..tiring lor!! Practically no break at all for the whole day..

Lesson: NEVER ever move on to the next topic until ALL corrections for the current topic is done. Must check thoroughly cause sometimes they do but do wrongly!! Lol face palm! My students very blur!

SOOOO my strategy is gonna change!! Thought of something!! Practice makes perfect right?? So I'm gonna print a lot a lot of drill worksheets for them!! Then make them do and do!! No need to do corrections for this one. It's just to make them practice and let me see where their standard is. Then will give prizes for correct answers! =D ANDDDD during this time, I'll take a student out to do corrections!! =D cause the rest of the class will be concentrating on their quiz right? So yea! Conducive environment for one-to-one! =D

A lot of students with a lot of corrections = Stressed and cranky teacher!!

And I'm not gonna be like that already!! Yup thank God for this idea!! =D God I pray that You'll help and enable me to manage my class well!! And I pray that with this, they will really improve!! =D AND GOD I PRAY THEY WILL BE ALERT IN CLASS AND PAY 100% ATTENTION WHENEVER IM GOING THROUGH CORRECTIONS!! No more corrections/re-corrections after this round of clearing their corrections please!! THANK YOU GOD!!!! In Jesus' name I pray, amen! =D

My favourite food!

I don't think I've ever done this but yea..apparently I'm procrastinating really badly now so might as well jot this down for memories' sake haha so here goessss

One thing I can eat everyday:
Brocolli cheese soup from Quiznos!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!! And I haven't had it in a while cause its always sold out by the time I reach the place..haha NOTE TO SELF: buy the ingredients and try to make it myself in the near future!! =D

I LOVEEEEE SOUPS!! Haha just thought of another one: my grandma used to cook this potato and carrot soup which was sooooo good!! I'm hungry just thinking about it!! The carrots and the potatoes are really soft and the soup itself is really tasty I have no idea what else she puts in it!! Haha it just warms my tummy and makes me feel really contented haha =D

AND AND mushroom soup!! Not too creamy/rich and definitely not diluted! Yum yum yummmmm haha

What I love to eat:
- fried beehoon with hot dog!! =D for breakfast usually! =D
- the grilled fish spaghetti from KouFu!! The fish is super soft and they always give a lot of spaghetti!! And it's $5.80!! Really worth it!! =D
- grilled sausage with Rosti at Buddy hoagies/ Marche!! Love Rosti!! =D
- EGGS haha especially omelettes! Minced meat with egg is probably my favourite kind!! =D
- Japanese tofu/ 铁板豆腐!! I think they are the same thing right?? Love how its so soft!! =D
- favorite burgers from McDonald's: filet o fish and the teppanyaki chicken McGrill!! =D
- CHEESE FRIES!! =D
- Mashed potato from Popeyes!! Their mashed potato is probably their best selling point! Haha only they have that kind of mashed potato!!
- CHICKEN NUGGETS!! Hahaha =D
- OH OH MY FAVOURITE FROM HOT TOMATO: THE ROSEMARY CHICKEN!! The portion is really huge and I actually can polish the whole plate including the mashed potato and vegetables!! =D =D
- NACHOOOSSSS with the delicious cheese to go with..SUPER DUPER YUMZZZZ!!
- Fish bee hoon soup with milk!! =D
- IKEA meatballs!! =D

- FARMERS OMELETTE AT PIQUE NIQUE!! HOW CAN I FORGET!! I WOULD EAT ALLLLL THE VEGGIE ON THE PLATE CAUSE ITS JUST SO GOOD!!

Hahahha okay I think I see a trend!! Basically I love soups, hot dogs, good fish, chicken, eggs, potatoes and cheeseeeeee!! =D

Haha omgosh doing this post is making me feel like eating all the food!! Okay la I guess that's all for now!! Haha God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

She

She has a reason for everything she likes
She laughs like a child
She dreams of running in an open field
Carefree
Happy
With arms wide open
With eyes closed
Taking in the scent of nature
And the beauty around her
She yearns to impact lives
To make a difference in this world
To be the difference

She has a burden in her heart for the people of Somalia
Especially those innocent children
Started when she read an article in the papers
About their tragic plight
Which they didn't choose to have
Broke her heart

--
Haha had a sudden boost of creative juice to write! Anyway..yes I'm having my March holidays now!! WOOHOO =D

Have been reflecting on how Term 1 went..seriously there were so so so many "milestones" for me! Really gained a lot of experience and learnt a lot from it! =D And during the two days that I went back to school, I realised just how much I love my job and why I love it so much! Holidays are really a good time to get refreshed, recharged and remind yourself of the reason why you wanted to be here in the first place and just how blessed you are to be where you are, to have met who you have met, to have learnt what you have learnt and to be working with the people you're working..it's been fun! =D Really thank God for pulling me through the 10 weeks of Term 1..I've grown. =D

And I'm feeling a little nervous about next week because I'm thinking of doing something radically different and I have not created a really detailed plan on how I'm gonna reintroduce my classroom management plan..but the thing I've thinking of doing is..SMILING.

I REALLY REALLY wanna smile at my students and enjoy my time with them instead of giving them the black face most of the time! And I really pray that they'll gain a lot out of the stuff I've put up over the two days..so that my effort won't be in vain! =D So yup that's basically what I've been thinking about..haha God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Today

I wonder if this is start of something really awesome. Today I talked to my class monitor and told him I think he really has the ability to influence the rest of the class which is why I have not replaced him with someone else. And I thank God that he really got it. After that, he started helping me in the class when students started disrupting my lesson! And he really did his work!! Until someone said something unkind about him and he flared up and pulled her chair away, causing her to fall on the floor. After school, I pulled him aside to talk to him and asked him if he knew what he did was wrong and he should apologize to her. And he did. #proudteachermoment. Things like that are what really make me feel accomplished. Not how much of the syllabus I covered, but how much of an impact I actually made. I'm thinking of talking to him again tomorrow to let him know that I really appreciate his help in the class yesterday and that his role is to help me with the class!! And be nice to those that others bully so that the rest will look up to him and respect him! And I know I can count on him! =D

Other things that I did today:
Implemented the consequences again. This time I guessed it went better. However those in timeout didn't really behave much better so I didn't ask if they wanted to join the class. I even had one boy asking if he could go to timeout!! And yes he was supposed to go but I had to separate him from those in timeout because he would talk to them.

Got them to do their FTGP journal at the start of the day!! Yay it finally arrived! It helped them keep quiet because all they needed to do was draw and colour a picture. So yea thank God for that period of peace and calm that I had!! Didn't follow the lesson plan cause there wasn't enough time to..so yup!

Talked to R and asked him how school has been for him so far. And thank God he said good! And then I told him I really appreciate how he tries to tell those around to keep quiet. He didn't really respond though haha hope he understood what I meant! And I also mentioned that I thought of letting him become a junior leader!

Had lesson observation. Thank God!!! Third and last one of this term!! Honestly I was so ill-prepared for it. No idea what got into me these days but I just feel really lethargic and don't feel like doing anything!! But thank God for that awesome colleague who lent me her sweets and helped me to find the math resources during her free period!! Seriously thank God for her!! If not for her help I would have felt really stressed and depressed lol and yea managed to use the resources to teach my lesson today but didn't really follow the "learning targets" procedure la..haha it was so impromptu =X i did share the learning target and showed them incorrect examples and correct examples and at the end, asked them how many understood and know how to draw a model correctly! And 3 of them didnt raise their hands so yea i guess my lesson got through to most of them so thank God! =D thank God it went okay! Except for the boys who became violent all of a sudden! But yea thank God it's overrrrrrrr!! =D

Their tests are coming in 2 weeks time! Wanna ask Mdm S what are the words that will be tested!! And what kind of questions will come out for math! Will problem sums come out?

Anyway I've new ideas and resources!! So many things to do!!
- will get them to do corrections for their math HW books. Those who don't have can do their stellar handwriting book! =D
- I have wooden pegs now!! =D but cannot decorate the class with their work now cause the tests are coming!! Will ask if can put up the total defence artwork!
- and I've got cards with simple words on them!! Can use for English lessons!! Form sentences!! =D
- and also numbers on ice cream sticks! Can use when answering MCQ!! =D

Yup yup okay got to go! Really wanna THANK GOD FOR HIS GRACE AND FOR PULLING ME THROUGH THESE FEW DAYS!!!!!!! =D God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Slow to judge, quick to forgive

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to becomeangry" - James 1:19

and tonight I'm reminded again of the importance of beingslow to judge and quick to forgive.

So many things I can link that to..firstly, the note I sawon FB about being Christian and gay..at first it seemed like it's a really huge issue because it generatedmany comments from all kinds of people..but only one thing struck me..thecomment which stated that "The problem here is sin..And all of these sinsequally grieve and hurt God. As humans, we will never be perfect and we willfall into sin." I think he really brought up the crux of thematter..that's the only thing that we should be focusing on..not on whether itis a "right" or "wrong" thing to do..because..simply put, who doesn't sin? Who never struggled with sin? Who is perfect except for God Himself? As said in Romans 3:23, all have fallen short of God's standards. Who are we to judge? Who are we to condemn? And honestly, I admit I was a little judgmental when I first saw the title of the note but part of me was actually more curious to see what the content of the note was..and I don't regret reading it (and the comments) because it made me relearn a very important lesson. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive. It's always better to love than to condemn and I'm happy to see that there are many Christians out there who read the note and responded in love, saying that they'd be praying for the author of the note. That's what God calls us to do and it is the best way to show that we are indeed His children :)

For "no one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." (1 John 4:12) I think that's what this verse is trying to say..I see God's love perfected in those brothers and sisters in Christ! =D

Also, I thought about the way I handled my class..honestly there is an inner struggle within me whenever I get really angry at them because I know I should not have..I really wanna live out James 1:19 in my classroom and protect all my students' right to learn in a safe and conducive environment!! And I think about how they were really obedient and good on the occasions when I enforced the consequences..and then I feel bad..because I know SCM is right..the problem is not with my students..the problem is with me..and the most troubling thing for me is that I find it difficult to enforce the consequences ALL the time!! Because sometimes students break rules and it doesnt really affect the rest of the class! But I HAVE to do what i said I would do if not I will lose the respect and trust of my students! And things would just get worse..

BUT the thing is..there was once I tried being consistent with my classroom management plan and there were 4 students in time out at the same time!! How can that be?? And there is this student that really does not follow the rules even when I send him to time-out! I have never enforced the 3rd consequence..because I need to get my "sample letter" approved before I can start sending them out..but I thought of an alternative..which is that I'll just call/message the parent but it seems more informal..so I'm not sure how to go about doing it! I guess I can ask Mrs K about the bulletin she gives to her class!

And there are other things on my mind recently: really need to teach them to WALK IN LINE and HAND IN THEIR HOMEWORK ON TIME! I've been receiving late work ever since I started giving homework and that's really not what I want..so yup gotta work on these two areas! And I thank God that it's coming to the end of the week! =D

End of Week 3 and yes I'm still loving my class and I know I'm gonna love it even more when I finally get my classroom management plan up and running seamlessly!! Today's disappointments do not determine tomorrow's story! =D

Yes yes yes Phil 4:13! God is gonna help me to reach that stage! Everything will be good! =D okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D have a good week!! =D

I AM A FORM TEACHER!!

WOOHOO!! =D

YES I HAVE A CLASS OF MY OWN NOW!! =D THANK GOD!!!!! =D

AND YES I PLAN ALL THEIR ENGLISH, MATH, PE, SS AND HE LESSONS!! HAHAHA =D

Okay so this is the end of Week 1!! (Last week was admin week so it was considered "Week 0") Started teaching them the curriculum on Monday! =D Whew! Ups and downs but I'd like to think there are more ups than downs!! =D

Soooooo at the end of Week 1..here are some of my thoughts! =D

• I actually really love my class! My 20 kids!! =D Even though I get angry at them when they misbehave and tell them off, I really really think they are a sweet, cute, genuine and smart bunch of kids!! =D
• They do not complain about the consequences I've put in place and neither do they have any when I change their seats all of a sudden! Thank God! =D
• I think I've been trying to incorporate fun into my lessons so that the children will be more engaged in the lesson and thus, be able to absorb the lesson better! =D
• For example, on Monday I let them join 10 cubes to form 1 ten each and we repeated the process until we got a structure of 1000 cubes! =D and on tuesday, I used the flat base ten sets to show them how to represent 3-digit numbers in HTO! Taught them 2 ways then  I got volunteers to come up to write their answers! =D on Wednesday, I used the manipulatives Mdm R lent to me..finally got the right ones!! Grouped the kids into pairs and made them show me concrete representations of the 3-digit numbers that I called out! =D then on Thursday, I let them play the PVC game found in the math TB! =D the highest score on that day was 34 points! Impressive!! At first I let them practise then for the 5 math minutes I told them that each correct answer will be awarded 1 point! =D
• As for English, I did 4 of the SBA activities before letting them do their learning sheets! But I think I could have improved the planning and timing of my lessons! Learnt that I have to make sure that there is enough time to complete the section of the WS AFTER the activities. If I make them do the WS the next day, they would have forgotten about what was taught the previous day! And I made them do comprehension by asking them to act out the roles in the wuestions/ passage! Helps that there are pictures in the book! =D and I realized its good to get those who did not bring their books to sit in front so that they will not get distracted on their seats and will be able to follow the lesson as well! =D and I used charades to teach them spelling! Pray that all of them would remember the meanings and spellings of the words! =D
• I now have a better idea of what routines I want to teach to my class and how I want to teach them when I get another one in the future!
• Really thank God for bringing me through last week and this week! Because this is my first time taking a class all by myself from the start of the year, I was really unsure about many things and I think I was a bit too anxious! Haha but thank God things worked out well in the end! =D Lesson learnt: do not collect school diaries on my own..someone will collect them and put them in the hall during assembly on the first day! =D

Anyway I think it's crazy!! On Friday night I started planning for what I would do with my class on Monday and I kept adding stuff to my plan for the day until 4.34AM in the morning and couldn't sleep until 5plus!! And then I woke up at 2plus in the afternoon and went to Tampines to meet darling for dinner! Saw some nice tops at the interchange but they were selling at $20 each! A little too pricey for my liking! Anyway, we ate at BBQ Chicken for the first time and in my opinion the food wasn't really nice and it was quite expensive! Had the half chicken with mashed potato and fries! Think Hot Tomato's quality is better! And the portion is bigger! =D and the best part is..the meal is under $10!! LOVEEE hahaha =D

Okay gonna talk about how my week went..!

• Really hectic on Monday and Tuesday! Plus I didn't get a good sleep on Monday cause I couldn't sleep at night and got a call early in the morning so it affected my performance for the rest of the day! But thank God I managed to carry out what I planned to do! =D
• Was told that I would be observed for my Math lesson and had to get all the manipulatives and everything! My goodness guess this is the stressful part for me! Firstly, the manipulatives were not packed properly for the classes yet and all of them are in the Math room. Secondly, in my original lesson plan, I wasn't intending to use any of the manipulatives cause I didn't know what was available!! But on that day I had to rush to the math room to get ready and tweak my lesson plan so that I could use the manipulatives! But anyway thank God the lesson went okay without any hiccups!
• Went home exhausted on Monday but I met up with darling for dinner cause he said he'd be doing duty on Tuesday! Bought a pair of shorts! Finally! =D
• Went to HZ's birthday celebration after school on Wednesday! Thank God I didn't feel very tired cause I had 3 free periods at the end of the day THANK GODDDD! =D The food was really yummy and I got to catch up with my JC friends whom I haven't seen in a really long time! =D
• Got to buy new flats cause mine gave way as I was walking to school today! But other than that, really enjoyed today!! =D thank God for Fridays!! =D
• And last but not least, thank God I have siblings who are still schooling now so they can be my "guinea pigs" for my lesson plans! =D and they can even provide me with suggestions on how to improve my lesson! Thank God for them!! =D

Okay that's all for now! Do pray for me if you read this that I'll impact my students positively during my time here! And that they will be well-behaved and be able to understand whatever I teach them! Thank you! =D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Just in case..

I ever forget the past few days, I wanna write whatever I can remember of them!! The feeling's so awesome and I think it's gonna stay!! =D

So..let's start with..

Day 1 (Wednesday)

• First day of being observed by Mdm S.! =D Was really quite nervous at first but when I stepped into the class the nervousness just kind of melted away slowly so thank GODDD!! =D
• Did origami for a CDS lesson with the kids!! Can I just say I LOVEEEEE THAT CLASS?? =D Pardon me if I repeat myself later haha I just really really thank God for giving me such an awesome class to teach!! =D
• Had observed Mdm S. doing a CDS lesson with them the day before (Tuesday) so I had an idea of what I should do during CDS! =D Actually she wanted me to come in on Tuesday to start doing CDS for the Learning Journey they had the week before! But she asked me if I've done it before and after knowing that I haven't, she told me it's okay I can do the CDS on another topic (which explains why I taught them origami) and observe her when she does the Learning Journey CDS!! So yea THANK GODDD for such an understanding teacher and for allowing me to observe her lesson!! =D
• I taught them how to fold paper hearts!! =D
• The kids were really receptive and attentive when I taught them THANK GOD!!!! =D
• Managed to complete whatever I planned on doing (teach them origami then ask them for the steps so that I could write them down on the butcher paper) THANK GOD!!!!! =D
• Okay here's the part I like best: Getting feedback from Mdm S. on how I taught!! =D Why? =D
1. She gave me a lot of valuable advice and suggestions on how I could have made my lesson better! =D And she told me the kids enjoyed the lesson so yayyy!! Haha thank God!!! =D
2. Andddd she's the teacher I/C of this whole English STELLAR programme so she knows best about the procedure and how to go about doing things so I'm really, really thankful to have her as my mentor (even if it's only for these few days)!! God really gave me the best!! =D
3. Oh and I really thank God that finally there is someone to assess my teaching so I'll know what my strengths are and what I can improve on!! =D After doing RT for so long, it's feels really nice to finally be able to have someone to tell you explicitly HOW you can do better instead of just telling me I need to be firm which is what a lot of teachers told me when I was doing RT!

• Haha speaking about that, I really thank God cause during my 1 hour lesson with the class, I smiled a lot!! I felt like myself!! There wasn't the need to shout or "be firm" (look and be strict - however you define it) because the kids were really engaged in the lesson and there was no misbehaviour at all!! =D
• Feels SUPER NICE to finally be able to teach the kids something they have zero idea of instead of just giving worksheets and making sure they keep quiet while they are doing their work which is usually what is done during RT! And sometimes you have to teach them how to do some questions because they are not clear of the concept but you were not the one who taught the students that particular concept FIRST so for me, it just doesn't feel the same. I love helping the kids understand something their teacher has already taught them but they are not sure about but I love it even more when I'm the one who teaches the concept firsthand! Haha I guess I like the sense of ownership! Haha =D

Day 2 (Thursday)

• Big book day! Was supposed to read "The Enormous Watermelon" (TEW) to the kids!! Was pretty nervous cause I was afraid I'd forget:
1. to talk about the picture BEFORE reading the words!! Cause I'm so used to just reading the words without describing the pictures in a book! Haha so yea BUT THANK GOD I DIDN'T FORGET!! WHEWWW!!
2. the questions I'm supposed to ask the kids about the book! I was supposed to ask questions on every single page and I didn't wanna miss out any of the important ones!! But yea THANK GOD I DIDN'T FORGET THIS AS WELL!! =D
• Again, I learnt a lot from the constructive feedback Mdm S. gave me! She's really an awesome teacher!! =D She didn't focus on what went wrong (thought she would at least comment on the tuning in part and how I could have checked the youtube videos I chose to see if the lyrics in it were the same as the one the kids are gonna see on the screen afterwards but she didn't mention it at all!! =D)..instead she focused on what I could have done better and how I could improve!! =D So yea throughout the process I never felt intimidated/scared!! Thank God!!!! =D
• Felt like I did better the day before but it's okay!! At least everything went pretty smoothly!! =D

Day 3 (Friday)

• Okay I think this is my favourite of the 3 days I went in to teach them!! Haha =D So many amazing things!! =D
• God gave me a really good idea the night before haha and I couldn't sleep!! Only managed to fall asleep at 2plus!!
• There was a little bit of technical error at the start of my lesson cause the projector wasn't showing what was on my computer! Pressed the PC button a number of times but it didn't work until Mdm S. came up and pressed it lolll and then the videos were a bit laggy but thank God the kids didn't complain or anything!! =D They were just like "eh? eh?" haha have I mentioned that I loveeee this class?? Haha =D
• Honestly, I was still pretty nervous at the start!! Haha cause I had to remember the whole procedure (tuning in, reread an old big book, recall and reread TEW, relate personal experiences to story, look back at some of the pages and ask the pupils why they think some words are in different colour/are in bold print, vocabulary part and lastly the speech and drama section!! A LOT RIGHT!! Hahaha) and what to say for each section and I didn't wanna forget any part of it!! Actually in the end I did but oh well! Haha at least I did cover a little bit of that section (relating their personal experiences to the story) the previous day! So thank God!! =D And thank God that Mdm S. didn't mention anything about me missing that part out at all!! Ahhh what can I say..God is soooo goood!! =D
• Okay soooo the idea God gave me was the secret agent idea hehe according to Mdm S, it was interesting and the kids have never seen something like that and that I "finally calmed down to come up with that"!! Hahaha I was like wahhh so she really believes in me!! That if I'm calm I can actually come up with super creative ideas and deliver a very good lesson!! =D Was really, really happy!! Hahaha cause I enjoyed myself and I could tell the kids enjoyed themselves too!! This is what I want for all my lessons!! =D I really, really thank God that I'M ACTUALLY LIVING MY DREAM!! I'm so blessedddd!! =D =D
• Oh yea I was quite worried about how I was gonna carry out that idea cause it seemed a bit abrupt..was playing the scenario in my head the night before and before I began my lesson to "see" how I can fit it in but thank God everything just flowed so nicely during the lesson!! =D When I started that section, I just "went into character" and didn't worry about how things were gonna work out so thank God!!!! Hehehe!! =D
• She said the roleplay part was good too! And gave me some suggestions on how I could have made it even better!! Really thankful to be able to have her feedback!! =D Oh and I really loved how I could help the different groups think of how to act out their roles!! Hehe have I mentioned how much I loveeee teaching?? =D
• So yea I've just been really, really happy since that lesson yesterday!! Hehe!! =D Gonna teach another class next week and it'll be a different subject - Math! Haha I pray that I will be calm and God will give me creative ideas that I can use during my lessons to make them fun and interesting!!

Yup yup that's alll!! =D Hope you've enjoyed reading this post!! =D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Things

• Will be observed by the VP and another teacher while I'm teaching next week and the following week!! Excited and nervous at the same time!! Haha finally gonna teach new concepts!! =D Still not assigned my own class yet but I've a temporary schedule now which I'll follow when I don't need to do any relief duties! =D Will be going to those classes stated in my timetable to help the teachers with the weaker ones! =D
• Still need to work on my classroom management!! According to 2 teachers whom I sat with yesterday during recess, the class I had difficulty managing is actually easy to control! Haha I think it's because they have had years of experience..but what they said got me thinking! Haha anyway, there are teachers who have told me it's a difficult class as well..but I'm sure I'll get better with experience! Yay! Haha =D
• I finally got my hair cut!! Hahaha it's now a few inches shorter and lighter!! Yayyy!! Haha =D
• Thank God for His grace!! Haven't been reading devo as I should/ doing QT..but God is still so good..thank You Daddy!! =D
• Oh oh I loveeee the songs that they sing at school to help them remember certain things! Haha like the 2 times table and the grammar rules song! =D Think I'm gonna incorporate a lot of songs into my lessons when I get my own class!! Haha that's how I taught Shirleen to remember some of her science concepts as well! =D

Okay that's about it! Thank God for everythingggg!! I'm a blessed girl!! Haha God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

My experience in school so far..

HELLO EVERYBODY!! Haha I've been wanting to do a post about my school experience but have not had the time to..but thank God for this slot of time now where I can cause it's the September holidays!! Haha =D

Okayyyyy let's see..so I've been an official contract teacher for..40 days now!! Haha cool! Guess I'd break it up into weeks so that it'll be easier to document my journey thus far! =D

1st week (30 July - 3 August)

Haha the first week was fraught with a multitude of emotions for me!! I think I put a lot of pressure on myself cause I have high expectations of myself..and so it was really quite stressful!! On my first day, we (yes there's another contract teacher that came in at the same time as me! So thank God I'm not alone! =D) had an "induction programme" (I only knew that there's a term for it last week! Haha I just called it a school tour! Haha) and we were assigned to relief a class (yes together! Haha) ! Honestly, I was still quite nervous! Haha cause after all, I haven't done RT in more than two months!! The last time I did it was 25 May, before the June holidays!! Haha but thank God it wasn't too bad!

Okay the highlight of my first week was really the last two days because the class I took was quite rowdy! I remember what I mentioned in a previous post.."If I go to the rowdiest of classes, I may not get everyone's attention but what I do is that I focus on a few students and help them as much as possible. Will try to improve over time though! Really wanna be able to make an impact on the students that teachers would usually complain about/ give up on! =D" haha yeaaa God really gave me a class where I could make the most impact on!! Hahaha but alas, all I felt was stress because I had a difficult time managing that time! I felt like my classroom management skills turned somewhat rusty from the lack of practice..and there were a lot of thoughts going on in my mind! And so..I really looked forward to the following week because..

2nd week (6 - 10 August)

On Monday and Tuesday, I was to attend the Teacher's Preparatory Programme (TPP)!! =D (yes which means I could take an official break from school! Haha) It was really apt because I knew I was gonna learn classroom management strategies! =D Haha the programme really exceeded my expectations and I had a lot of fun, credits to my awesome trainer who managed to bond the class together through the many activities we did!! =D Haha the two days made me miss being a student a lot!! Haha can't wait to get to NIE!! =D It'd be really really awesome if everyday is gonna be as fun as what I experienced over those few days!! In short, I REALLY REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING TO NIE!! =D =D

Okay so on Wednesday it was back to school for the National Day celebration!! =D haha then on Thursday, National day = public holiday and Friday was a scheduled school holiday so woohoo!! Haha thank God for such a relaxing week so that I could prepare myself mentally for the week ahead when I'll start teaching again! =D

3rd week (13 - 17 August)

Monday: Lesson observation at the class I had trouble managing during the first week!! It was an eye-opener for me because I saw how well they behaved when their form teacher was around!!

Tuesday and Wednesday: Had to relief that class!! I was pretty positive about it, having seen their perfect behaviour the day before! Haha but alas, I didn't manage to control the class for long! But oh well every day is a learning experience! Haha

Thursday and Friday: PSLE oral so no lessons for the P1s and 2s! Haha =D

4th week (20 - 24 August)

• Got my first present from my angel!! =D
• Haven't got assigned to my own class yet..other contract teacher did though! So I'm still waiting..haha

• Sometimes I still feel like I'm just doing RT again, except for quite a number of differences!! Like being required to attend meetings (feels like CDAC as well), need to go for CCA, I receive email updates from the school, I have my own table in the staffroom and that I'll actually be graded for my performance this time!! That's the most important difference! Haha

5th week (27 - 31 August)

• Last week of the term!
• Had to take that class again on Thursday and Friday! Haha seems like I really have an affinity with the class!

Oh yea I think I've been getting more than my required amount of daily exercise because I walk to school and from school everyday!! And it's a 20 minutes journey hahaha so yup not counting the total duration I spent walking/running around in school!! Hahaha yup okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Lovers

You know..I think the deepest level of relationship one can go with God..is that of a lover..and I feel like God has been trying to get me there..okay am I making sense? Haha gonna try putting the levels into words..

First, you treat Him like an almighty God, which He is..but at this stage it's very one-dimensional..He seems very far away..and you don't really have a relationship with Him.

Then, you treat Him like a father..now you have a relationship..you think He's strict..maybe you still feel a distance - sometimes you feel Him, sometimes you don't.

Then, the next level, He's your best friend, you tell Him everything..when something happens, you tell Him..you share your deepest secrets with Him, you hear Him speaking to you, you know when He's talking to you..and it can be through anything. You know it because you are best friends with Him. And best friends always have telepathy.

And the very last part, your best friend becomes your lover..and then you realize everything comes together..Him being a loving father, Him being able to be your best friend, a God who places love above all things, a God who puts the desire in all of us to love and be loved..of course He'd want to take that ultimate place in your heart eventually..it all makes sense doesn't it? A jealous God..a God who wants you to love Him with all your heart..THIS IS OUR GOD. WHO WANTS TO BE OUR LOVER.

I think that's why all this while I've been hearing "me first..me first..ME. FIRST." from Him.. He wants my everything, not just a part of me.

I am meant to be the bride of Christ. We all are.

(First written on 9 Dec 2011, edited on 9 July 2012)

Grace

Hiiiiii!! This is the 2nd of the series! =D

We judge people different from us. But what we need to know is that the people we judge need as much love as we ourselves do. The grace that God extends to you is the same as the grace He extends to everyone else. And that's what we should do as well - extend God's grace to everyone we meet and know! =D

- Written on 7 July at 1.02AM

Saw this and thought it's really apt so I decided to include it in this post!

So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:3-4)

God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D