Today

I wonder if this is start of something really awesome. Today I talked to my class monitor and told him I think he really has the ability to influence the rest of the class which is why I have not replaced him with someone else. And I thank God that he really got it. After that, he started helping me in the class when students started disrupting my lesson! And he really did his work!! Until someone said something unkind about him and he flared up and pulled her chair away, causing her to fall on the floor. After school, I pulled him aside to talk to him and asked him if he knew what he did was wrong and he should apologize to her. And he did. #proudteachermoment. Things like that are what really make me feel accomplished. Not how much of the syllabus I covered, but how much of an impact I actually made. I'm thinking of talking to him again tomorrow to let him know that I really appreciate his help in the class yesterday and that his role is to help me with the class!! And be nice to those that others bully so that the rest will look up to him and respect him! And I know I can count on him! =D

Other things that I did today:
Implemented the consequences again. This time I guessed it went better. However those in timeout didn't really behave much better so I didn't ask if they wanted to join the class. I even had one boy asking if he could go to timeout!! And yes he was supposed to go but I had to separate him from those in timeout because he would talk to them.

Got them to do their FTGP journal at the start of the day!! Yay it finally arrived! It helped them keep quiet because all they needed to do was draw and colour a picture. So yea thank God for that period of peace and calm that I had!! Didn't follow the lesson plan cause there wasn't enough time to..so yup!

Talked to R and asked him how school has been for him so far. And thank God he said good! And then I told him I really appreciate how he tries to tell those around to keep quiet. He didn't really respond though haha hope he understood what I meant! And I also mentioned that I thought of letting him become a junior leader!

Had lesson observation. Thank God!!! Third and last one of this term!! Honestly I was so ill-prepared for it. No idea what got into me these days but I just feel really lethargic and don't feel like doing anything!! But thank God for that awesome colleague who lent me her sweets and helped me to find the math resources during her free period!! Seriously thank God for her!! If not for her help I would have felt really stressed and depressed lol and yea managed to use the resources to teach my lesson today but didn't really follow the "learning targets" procedure la..haha it was so impromptu =X i did share the learning target and showed them incorrect examples and correct examples and at the end, asked them how many understood and know how to draw a model correctly! And 3 of them didnt raise their hands so yea i guess my lesson got through to most of them so thank God! =D thank God it went okay! Except for the boys who became violent all of a sudden! But yea thank God it's overrrrrrrr!! =D

Their tests are coming in 2 weeks time! Wanna ask Mdm S what are the words that will be tested!! And what kind of questions will come out for math! Will problem sums come out?

Anyway I've new ideas and resources!! So many things to do!!
- will get them to do corrections for their math HW books. Those who don't have can do their stellar handwriting book! =D
- I have wooden pegs now!! =D but cannot decorate the class with their work now cause the tests are coming!! Will ask if can put up the total defence artwork!
- and I've got cards with simple words on them!! Can use for English lessons!! Form sentences!! =D
- and also numbers on ice cream sticks! Can use when answering MCQ!! =D

Yup yup okay got to go! Really wanna THANK GOD FOR HIS GRACE AND FOR PULLING ME THROUGH THESE FEW DAYS!!!!!!! =D God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Slow to judge, quick to forgive

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to becomeangry" - James 1:19

and tonight I'm reminded again of the importance of beingslow to judge and quick to forgive.

So many things I can link that to..firstly, the note I sawon FB about being Christian and gay..at first it seemed like it's a really huge issue because it generatedmany comments from all kinds of people..but only one thing struck me..thecomment which stated that "The problem here is sin..And all of these sinsequally grieve and hurt God. As humans, we will never be perfect and we willfall into sin." I think he really brought up the crux of thematter..that's the only thing that we should be focusing on..not on whether itis a "right" or "wrong" thing to do..because..simply put, who doesn't sin? Who never struggled with sin? Who is perfect except for God Himself? As said in Romans 3:23, all have fallen short of God's standards. Who are we to judge? Who are we to condemn? And honestly, I admit I was a little judgmental when I first saw the title of the note but part of me was actually more curious to see what the content of the note was..and I don't regret reading it (and the comments) because it made me relearn a very important lesson. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive. It's always better to love than to condemn and I'm happy to see that there are many Christians out there who read the note and responded in love, saying that they'd be praying for the author of the note. That's what God calls us to do and it is the best way to show that we are indeed His children :)

For "no one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." (1 John 4:12) I think that's what this verse is trying to say..I see God's love perfected in those brothers and sisters in Christ! =D

Also, I thought about the way I handled my class..honestly there is an inner struggle within me whenever I get really angry at them because I know I should not have..I really wanna live out James 1:19 in my classroom and protect all my students' right to learn in a safe and conducive environment!! And I think about how they were really obedient and good on the occasions when I enforced the consequences..and then I feel bad..because I know SCM is right..the problem is not with my students..the problem is with me..and the most troubling thing for me is that I find it difficult to enforce the consequences ALL the time!! Because sometimes students break rules and it doesnt really affect the rest of the class! But I HAVE to do what i said I would do if not I will lose the respect and trust of my students! And things would just get worse..

BUT the thing is..there was once I tried being consistent with my classroom management plan and there were 4 students in time out at the same time!! How can that be?? And there is this student that really does not follow the rules even when I send him to time-out! I have never enforced the 3rd consequence..because I need to get my "sample letter" approved before I can start sending them out..but I thought of an alternative..which is that I'll just call/message the parent but it seems more informal..so I'm not sure how to go about doing it! I guess I can ask Mrs K about the bulletin she gives to her class!

And there are other things on my mind recently: really need to teach them to WALK IN LINE and HAND IN THEIR HOMEWORK ON TIME! I've been receiving late work ever since I started giving homework and that's really not what I want..so yup gotta work on these two areas! And I thank God that it's coming to the end of the week! =D

End of Week 3 and yes I'm still loving my class and I know I'm gonna love it even more when I finally get my classroom management plan up and running seamlessly!! Today's disappointments do not determine tomorrow's story! =D

Yes yes yes Phil 4:13! God is gonna help me to reach that stage! Everything will be good! =D okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D have a good week!! =D

I AM A FORM TEACHER!!

WOOHOO!! =D

YES I HAVE A CLASS OF MY OWN NOW!! =D THANK GOD!!!!! =D

AND YES I PLAN ALL THEIR ENGLISH, MATH, PE, SS AND HE LESSONS!! HAHAHA =D

Okay so this is the end of Week 1!! (Last week was admin week so it was considered "Week 0") Started teaching them the curriculum on Monday! =D Whew! Ups and downs but I'd like to think there are more ups than downs!! =D

Soooooo at the end of Week 1..here are some of my thoughts! =D

• I actually really love my class! My 20 kids!! =D Even though I get angry at them when they misbehave and tell them off, I really really think they are a sweet, cute, genuine and smart bunch of kids!! =D
• They do not complain about the consequences I've put in place and neither do they have any when I change their seats all of a sudden! Thank God! =D
• I think I've been trying to incorporate fun into my lessons so that the children will be more engaged in the lesson and thus, be able to absorb the lesson better! =D
• For example, on Monday I let them join 10 cubes to form 1 ten each and we repeated the process until we got a structure of 1000 cubes! =D and on tuesday, I used the flat base ten sets to show them how to represent 3-digit numbers in HTO! Taught them 2 ways then  I got volunteers to come up to write their answers! =D on Wednesday, I used the manipulatives Mdm R lent to me..finally got the right ones!! Grouped the kids into pairs and made them show me concrete representations of the 3-digit numbers that I called out! =D then on Thursday, I let them play the PVC game found in the math TB! =D the highest score on that day was 34 points! Impressive!! At first I let them practise then for the 5 math minutes I told them that each correct answer will be awarded 1 point! =D
• As for English, I did 4 of the SBA activities before letting them do their learning sheets! But I think I could have improved the planning and timing of my lessons! Learnt that I have to make sure that there is enough time to complete the section of the WS AFTER the activities. If I make them do the WS the next day, they would have forgotten about what was taught the previous day! And I made them do comprehension by asking them to act out the roles in the wuestions/ passage! Helps that there are pictures in the book! =D and I realized its good to get those who did not bring their books to sit in front so that they will not get distracted on their seats and will be able to follow the lesson as well! =D and I used charades to teach them spelling! Pray that all of them would remember the meanings and spellings of the words! =D
• I now have a better idea of what routines I want to teach to my class and how I want to teach them when I get another one in the future!
• Really thank God for bringing me through last week and this week! Because this is my first time taking a class all by myself from the start of the year, I was really unsure about many things and I think I was a bit too anxious! Haha but thank God things worked out well in the end! =D Lesson learnt: do not collect school diaries on my own..someone will collect them and put them in the hall during assembly on the first day! =D

Anyway I think it's crazy!! On Friday night I started planning for what I would do with my class on Monday and I kept adding stuff to my plan for the day until 4.34AM in the morning and couldn't sleep until 5plus!! And then I woke up at 2plus in the afternoon and went to Tampines to meet darling for dinner! Saw some nice tops at the interchange but they were selling at $20 each! A little too pricey for my liking! Anyway, we ate at BBQ Chicken for the first time and in my opinion the food wasn't really nice and it was quite expensive! Had the half chicken with mashed potato and fries! Think Hot Tomato's quality is better! And the portion is bigger! =D and the best part is..the meal is under $10!! LOVEEE hahaha =D

Okay gonna talk about how my week went..!

• Really hectic on Monday and Tuesday! Plus I didn't get a good sleep on Monday cause I couldn't sleep at night and got a call early in the morning so it affected my performance for the rest of the day! But thank God I managed to carry out what I planned to do! =D
• Was told that I would be observed for my Math lesson and had to get all the manipulatives and everything! My goodness guess this is the stressful part for me! Firstly, the manipulatives were not packed properly for the classes yet and all of them are in the Math room. Secondly, in my original lesson plan, I wasn't intending to use any of the manipulatives cause I didn't know what was available!! But on that day I had to rush to the math room to get ready and tweak my lesson plan so that I could use the manipulatives! But anyway thank God the lesson went okay without any hiccups!
• Went home exhausted on Monday but I met up with darling for dinner cause he said he'd be doing duty on Tuesday! Bought a pair of shorts! Finally! =D
• Went to HZ's birthday celebration after school on Wednesday! Thank God I didn't feel very tired cause I had 3 free periods at the end of the day THANK GODDDD! =D The food was really yummy and I got to catch up with my JC friends whom I haven't seen in a really long time! =D
• Got to buy new flats cause mine gave way as I was walking to school today! But other than that, really enjoyed today!! =D thank God for Fridays!! =D
• And last but not least, thank God I have siblings who are still schooling now so they can be my "guinea pigs" for my lesson plans! =D and they can even provide me with suggestions on how to improve my lesson! Thank God for them!! =D

Okay that's all for now! Do pray for me if you read this that I'll impact my students positively during my time here! And that they will be well-behaved and be able to understand whatever I teach them! Thank you! =D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Just in case..

I ever forget the past few days, I wanna write whatever I can remember of them!! The feeling's so awesome and I think it's gonna stay!! =D

So..let's start with..

Day 1 (Wednesday)

• First day of being observed by Mdm S.! =D Was really quite nervous at first but when I stepped into the class the nervousness just kind of melted away slowly so thank GODDD!! =D
• Did origami for a CDS lesson with the kids!! Can I just say I LOVEEEEE THAT CLASS?? =D Pardon me if I repeat myself later haha I just really really thank God for giving me such an awesome class to teach!! =D
• Had observed Mdm S. doing a CDS lesson with them the day before (Tuesday) so I had an idea of what I should do during CDS! =D Actually she wanted me to come in on Tuesday to start doing CDS for the Learning Journey they had the week before! But she asked me if I've done it before and after knowing that I haven't, she told me it's okay I can do the CDS on another topic (which explains why I taught them origami) and observe her when she does the Learning Journey CDS!! So yea THANK GODDD for such an understanding teacher and for allowing me to observe her lesson!! =D
• I taught them how to fold paper hearts!! =D
• The kids were really receptive and attentive when I taught them THANK GOD!!!! =D
• Managed to complete whatever I planned on doing (teach them origami then ask them for the steps so that I could write them down on the butcher paper) THANK GOD!!!!! =D
• Okay here's the part I like best: Getting feedback from Mdm S. on how I taught!! =D Why? =D
1. She gave me a lot of valuable advice and suggestions on how I could have made my lesson better! =D And she told me the kids enjoyed the lesson so yayyy!! Haha thank God!!! =D
2. Andddd she's the teacher I/C of this whole English STELLAR programme so she knows best about the procedure and how to go about doing things so I'm really, really thankful to have her as my mentor (even if it's only for these few days)!! God really gave me the best!! =D
3. Oh and I really thank God that finally there is someone to assess my teaching so I'll know what my strengths are and what I can improve on!! =D After doing RT for so long, it's feels really nice to finally be able to have someone to tell you explicitly HOW you can do better instead of just telling me I need to be firm which is what a lot of teachers told me when I was doing RT!

• Haha speaking about that, I really thank God cause during my 1 hour lesson with the class, I smiled a lot!! I felt like myself!! There wasn't the need to shout or "be firm" (look and be strict - however you define it) because the kids were really engaged in the lesson and there was no misbehaviour at all!! =D
• Feels SUPER NICE to finally be able to teach the kids something they have zero idea of instead of just giving worksheets and making sure they keep quiet while they are doing their work which is usually what is done during RT! And sometimes you have to teach them how to do some questions because they are not clear of the concept but you were not the one who taught the students that particular concept FIRST so for me, it just doesn't feel the same. I love helping the kids understand something their teacher has already taught them but they are not sure about but I love it even more when I'm the one who teaches the concept firsthand! Haha I guess I like the sense of ownership! Haha =D

Day 2 (Thursday)

• Big book day! Was supposed to read "The Enormous Watermelon" (TEW) to the kids!! Was pretty nervous cause I was afraid I'd forget:
1. to talk about the picture BEFORE reading the words!! Cause I'm so used to just reading the words without describing the pictures in a book! Haha so yea BUT THANK GOD I DIDN'T FORGET!! WHEWWW!!
2. the questions I'm supposed to ask the kids about the book! I was supposed to ask questions on every single page and I didn't wanna miss out any of the important ones!! But yea THANK GOD I DIDN'T FORGET THIS AS WELL!! =D
• Again, I learnt a lot from the constructive feedback Mdm S. gave me! She's really an awesome teacher!! =D She didn't focus on what went wrong (thought she would at least comment on the tuning in part and how I could have checked the youtube videos I chose to see if the lyrics in it were the same as the one the kids are gonna see on the screen afterwards but she didn't mention it at all!! =D)..instead she focused on what I could have done better and how I could improve!! =D So yea throughout the process I never felt intimidated/scared!! Thank God!!!! =D
• Felt like I did better the day before but it's okay!! At least everything went pretty smoothly!! =D

Day 3 (Friday)

• Okay I think this is my favourite of the 3 days I went in to teach them!! Haha =D So many amazing things!! =D
• God gave me a really good idea the night before haha and I couldn't sleep!! Only managed to fall asleep at 2plus!!
• There was a little bit of technical error at the start of my lesson cause the projector wasn't showing what was on my computer! Pressed the PC button a number of times but it didn't work until Mdm S. came up and pressed it lolll and then the videos were a bit laggy but thank God the kids didn't complain or anything!! =D They were just like "eh? eh?" haha have I mentioned that I loveeee this class?? Haha =D
• Honestly, I was still pretty nervous at the start!! Haha cause I had to remember the whole procedure (tuning in, reread an old big book, recall and reread TEW, relate personal experiences to story, look back at some of the pages and ask the pupils why they think some words are in different colour/are in bold print, vocabulary part and lastly the speech and drama section!! A LOT RIGHT!! Hahaha) and what to say for each section and I didn't wanna forget any part of it!! Actually in the end I did but oh well! Haha at least I did cover a little bit of that section (relating their personal experiences to the story) the previous day! So thank God!! =D And thank God that Mdm S. didn't mention anything about me missing that part out at all!! Ahhh what can I say..God is soooo goood!! =D
• Okay soooo the idea God gave me was the secret agent idea hehe according to Mdm S, it was interesting and the kids have never seen something like that and that I "finally calmed down to come up with that"!! Hahaha I was like wahhh so she really believes in me!! That if I'm calm I can actually come up with super creative ideas and deliver a very good lesson!! =D Was really, really happy!! Hahaha cause I enjoyed myself and I could tell the kids enjoyed themselves too!! This is what I want for all my lessons!! =D I really, really thank God that I'M ACTUALLY LIVING MY DREAM!! I'm so blessedddd!! =D =D
• Oh yea I was quite worried about how I was gonna carry out that idea cause it seemed a bit abrupt..was playing the scenario in my head the night before and before I began my lesson to "see" how I can fit it in but thank God everything just flowed so nicely during the lesson!! =D When I started that section, I just "went into character" and didn't worry about how things were gonna work out so thank God!!!! Hehehe!! =D
• She said the roleplay part was good too! And gave me some suggestions on how I could have made it even better!! Really thankful to be able to have her feedback!! =D Oh and I really loved how I could help the different groups think of how to act out their roles!! Hehe have I mentioned how much I loveeee teaching?? =D
• So yea I've just been really, really happy since that lesson yesterday!! Hehe!! =D Gonna teach another class next week and it'll be a different subject - Math! Haha I pray that I will be calm and God will give me creative ideas that I can use during my lessons to make them fun and interesting!!

Yup yup that's alll!! =D Hope you've enjoyed reading this post!! =D God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Things

• Will be observed by the VP and another teacher while I'm teaching next week and the following week!! Excited and nervous at the same time!! Haha finally gonna teach new concepts!! =D Still not assigned my own class yet but I've a temporary schedule now which I'll follow when I don't need to do any relief duties! =D Will be going to those classes stated in my timetable to help the teachers with the weaker ones! =D
• Still need to work on my classroom management!! According to 2 teachers whom I sat with yesterday during recess, the class I had difficulty managing is actually easy to control! Haha I think it's because they have had years of experience..but what they said got me thinking! Haha anyway, there are teachers who have told me it's a difficult class as well..but I'm sure I'll get better with experience! Yay! Haha =D
• I finally got my hair cut!! Hahaha it's now a few inches shorter and lighter!! Yayyy!! Haha =D
• Thank God for His grace!! Haven't been reading devo as I should/ doing QT..but God is still so good..thank You Daddy!! =D
• Oh oh I loveeee the songs that they sing at school to help them remember certain things! Haha like the 2 times table and the grammar rules song! =D Think I'm gonna incorporate a lot of songs into my lessons when I get my own class!! Haha that's how I taught Shirleen to remember some of her science concepts as well! =D

Okay that's about it! Thank God for everythingggg!! I'm a blessed girl!! Haha God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

My experience in school so far..

HELLO EVERYBODY!! Haha I've been wanting to do a post about my school experience but have not had the time to..but thank God for this slot of time now where I can cause it's the September holidays!! Haha =D

Okayyyyy let's see..so I've been an official contract teacher for..40 days now!! Haha cool! Guess I'd break it up into weeks so that it'll be easier to document my journey thus far! =D

1st week (30 July - 3 August)

Haha the first week was fraught with a multitude of emotions for me!! I think I put a lot of pressure on myself cause I have high expectations of myself..and so it was really quite stressful!! On my first day, we (yes there's another contract teacher that came in at the same time as me! So thank God I'm not alone! =D) had an "induction programme" (I only knew that there's a term for it last week! Haha I just called it a school tour! Haha) and we were assigned to relief a class (yes together! Haha) ! Honestly, I was still quite nervous! Haha cause after all, I haven't done RT in more than two months!! The last time I did it was 25 May, before the June holidays!! Haha but thank God it wasn't too bad!

Okay the highlight of my first week was really the last two days because the class I took was quite rowdy! I remember what I mentioned in a previous post.."If I go to the rowdiest of classes, I may not get everyone's attention but what I do is that I focus on a few students and help them as much as possible. Will try to improve over time though! Really wanna be able to make an impact on the students that teachers would usually complain about/ give up on! =D" haha yeaaa God really gave me a class where I could make the most impact on!! Hahaha but alas, all I felt was stress because I had a difficult time managing that time! I felt like my classroom management skills turned somewhat rusty from the lack of practice..and there were a lot of thoughts going on in my mind! And so..I really looked forward to the following week because..

2nd week (6 - 10 August)

On Monday and Tuesday, I was to attend the Teacher's Preparatory Programme (TPP)!! =D (yes which means I could take an official break from school! Haha) It was really apt because I knew I was gonna learn classroom management strategies! =D Haha the programme really exceeded my expectations and I had a lot of fun, credits to my awesome trainer who managed to bond the class together through the many activities we did!! =D Haha the two days made me miss being a student a lot!! Haha can't wait to get to NIE!! =D It'd be really really awesome if everyday is gonna be as fun as what I experienced over those few days!! In short, I REALLY REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING TO NIE!! =D =D

Okay so on Wednesday it was back to school for the National Day celebration!! =D haha then on Thursday, National day = public holiday and Friday was a scheduled school holiday so woohoo!! Haha thank God for such a relaxing week so that I could prepare myself mentally for the week ahead when I'll start teaching again! =D

3rd week (13 - 17 August)

Monday: Lesson observation at the class I had trouble managing during the first week!! It was an eye-opener for me because I saw how well they behaved when their form teacher was around!!

Tuesday and Wednesday: Had to relief that class!! I was pretty positive about it, having seen their perfect behaviour the day before! Haha but alas, I didn't manage to control the class for long! But oh well every day is a learning experience! Haha

Thursday and Friday: PSLE oral so no lessons for the P1s and 2s! Haha =D

4th week (20 - 24 August)

• Got my first present from my angel!! =D
• Haven't got assigned to my own class yet..other contract teacher did though! So I'm still waiting..haha

• Sometimes I still feel like I'm just doing RT again, except for quite a number of differences!! Like being required to attend meetings (feels like CDAC as well), need to go for CCA, I receive email updates from the school, I have my own table in the staffroom and that I'll actually be graded for my performance this time!! That's the most important difference! Haha

5th week (27 - 31 August)

• Last week of the term!
• Had to take that class again on Thursday and Friday! Haha seems like I really have an affinity with the class!

Oh yea I think I've been getting more than my required amount of daily exercise because I walk to school and from school everyday!! And it's a 20 minutes journey hahaha so yup not counting the total duration I spent walking/running around in school!! Hahaha yup okay God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Lovers

You know..I think the deepest level of relationship one can go with God..is that of a lover..and I feel like God has been trying to get me there..okay am I making sense? Haha gonna try putting the levels into words..

First, you treat Him like an almighty God, which He is..but at this stage it's very one-dimensional..He seems very far away..and you don't really have a relationship with Him.

Then, you treat Him like a father..now you have a relationship..you think He's strict..maybe you still feel a distance - sometimes you feel Him, sometimes you don't.

Then, the next level, He's your best friend, you tell Him everything..when something happens, you tell Him..you share your deepest secrets with Him, you hear Him speaking to you, you know when He's talking to you..and it can be through anything. You know it because you are best friends with Him. And best friends always have telepathy.

And the very last part, your best friend becomes your lover..and then you realize everything comes together..Him being a loving father, Him being able to be your best friend, a God who places love above all things, a God who puts the desire in all of us to love and be loved..of course He'd want to take that ultimate place in your heart eventually..it all makes sense doesn't it? A jealous God..a God who wants you to love Him with all your heart..THIS IS OUR GOD. WHO WANTS TO BE OUR LOVER.

I think that's why all this while I've been hearing "me first..me first..ME. FIRST." from Him.. He wants my everything, not just a part of me.

I am meant to be the bride of Christ. We all are.

(First written on 9 Dec 2011, edited on 9 July 2012)

Grace

Hiiiiii!! This is the 2nd of the series! =D

We judge people different from us. But what we need to know is that the people we judge need as much love as we ourselves do. The grace that God extends to you is the same as the grace He extends to everyone else. And that's what we should do as well - extend God's grace to everyone we meet and know! =D

- Written on 7 July at 1.02AM

Saw this and thought it's really apt so I decided to include it in this post!

So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:3-4)

God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Surrendering to God

Hellooo!! Haha so I promised to post some of the stuff I've written over this month on my blog! And here is one of the things I wrote! =D I've learnt that..

Surrendering to God means NOT wanting a certain outcome for what you're praying for; it means not insisting that God can only grant you that outcome but rather, leaving it in God's hands, having an open heart and keeping in mind that God is sovereign and will do what is best for you! =D

The Bible does say ask and you will receive..you can ask for what you want but God won't give you what you want if you are unable to accept any other outcomes. That is God's will for you - to trust Him.

Of course, if you're asking for things in line with His will for example, for His wisdom, His strength..that He'll help you to break certain bad habits..God will never say no!

Usually surrending to God means that you are not sure if it's in line with God's will..you're not sure if that's what God wants for your life..that's when you have to trust God and not demand Him to fulfill your expectations :)

- Written on 3 July 2.49AM

Yup this is just the start!! More of my notes to come so do keep a lookout for them! Haha God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

Announcements and updates!

Helloooo!! Sorry I haven't updated this space in a while! I'm apologising because I realised I have a follower on my blog!! HELLO THERE!! You know who you are! Haha =D Okay so here are the announcements that I wanna make in this post!! =D

• I HAVE TUMBLR!! =D equaldecember.tumblr.com YAY haha enjoy browsing through it!! =D
• I WILL START TEACHING AT SPS COME 30 JULY! YAYAYAY!! =D Can't wait!! Haha I pray I'll remember all the classroom management stuff I've learnt from SCM and won't feel nervous on my first day!! =D
• I've been learning swimming!! =D Haha yayyy!! (better late than never right! Haha anyway recently I've been doing a lot of things that I didn't expect myself to! More on that on the next point!) Think I conquered half my phobia already!! =D can't wait till I master the sport so that I'll be able to scuba-dive and swim with the dolphins one day!! =D
• Ate lunch with Papa at the Quiznos outlet near my workplace!! So glad God is restoring our father-daughter relationship!! =D I can't remember when was the last time I ate with him so comfortably and peacefully..for the first time I took off my judgemental eyes and tried to understand him as I would understand a friend..so yea..it's a really momentous event in my life! =D I thank God for His grace over these years when I didn't treat him as I should (with all the lingering animosity and whatnot), for leading me slowly and patiently to the point where He opened my eyes to see that my papa's human too and that God loves him too and that I should extend love and grace to him! =D

So yea all these and a lot more has been going on in my life for the month of July so far!! It's been an amazing ride! I've learnt about submission (doesn't mean being meek!), about the forms pride manifests itself in (guilty of it myself), about legalism and a lot of other stuff that I can't remember now! Haha will probably post some of the stuff I wrote on some of the nights (or days) to share in this blog! =D Oh and I finished reading Dug Deep Down by Joshua Harris! Haha here's an introductory video on the book! I thought the concept of the video was really cool!! =D

Also, I discovered a blog today! Here's the link: http://aminiatureclaypot.wordpress.com/ Saw it on my tumblr dashboard! The post that was linked is her response to people who asked her "So you STILL think God is a merciful God?!" after she survived the shooting at the midnight screening of Batman! So yup it's so cool how and where God leads me online! =D I learnt quite a lot of new things from her blog while scrolling through the other posts! =D

For example:

My friends, contrary to what many would have you believe, emotions - negative emotions – are NOT your enemy. As I have mentioned before, we are not called to LIVE according to our feelings, but emotions are an indicator of what we are really thinking and believing. It often isn’t the incident of the moment that is causing the emotion, but a belief associated with it. I had to go before the Lord and ask “What on earth is going on here?” and have Him reveal to me what exactly I was believing and why I was responding the way I was. Then I invited Him to replace any false beliefs with truth. Amazing freedom.

Let me quote Ed Smith, since I’m having a difficult time explaining: Lie based pain (emotions that stem from false beliefs) can only be removed as the lies causing the pain are replaced with Truth. (Ed Smith, Healing Life’s Hurts)

Unexpected emotions stem from what we are believing and not necessarily the event or circumstance. The only way to be set free from emotions that are triggered by events (or people) is to get at the root of the emotion: the belief that brings it about. To do that, own the emotion, bring it before God and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you are believing. Then ask Him to replace any lies with His truth.

I assure you, it is the most liberating, permanent thing, apart from salvation, you will ever experience!

Awesome stuff right?? Haha oh and yes I got my teeth tightened on the 16th last month and thank God the uneasiness and tightness only lasted for a day!! Couldn't really sleep well on that night cause my teeth was feeling the pressure and I think they were moving so yea I pray that God will take away whatever discomfort I'll feel after the next dental appointment (next Wednesday!) so that I'll be able to sleep well! Haha yup okay that's all! Till next time, God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

My journey with braces so far..

Let's see..

23.04 (Monday): First time I went to the dental clinic! Was accompanied by 小婶婆 who met me in the shopping mall cause I didn't know how to go..did an X-ray of my teeth! She treated me to lunch! Haha I remember I ate wanton mee!

28.04 (Saturday): Met 小叔叔 and 奶奶 at their void deck! Thought it'd be faster that way cause 小叔叔 could drive me..but we were late in the end haha got spacers/separators (blue rubber rings) put in between my molar teeth!

04.05 (Friday): Took out the spacers and put the metal rings in place! Mummy accompanied me! =D

07.05 (Monday): Put in the brackets and wires on my teeth!! My braces are finally in place!! =D

10.05 (Thursday): MY FIRST EXTRACTION OF TWO TEETH!! Haha wanted to schedule my 2nd extraction to be done during the following week but I was called for RT! Haha so yea thank God for helping me make a clear cut decision!! =D Cause I was torn between wanting to get the extractions done ASAP but mummy was telling me my body's weak (got a fever the next day) so I shouldn't torture my body so soon again!! Lol so yup was praying that God will let me do RT if He wants me to do the extraction at a later date! Thank God He answered my prayers!! =D

28.05 (Monday): SECOND EXTRACTION!! Had been praying I wouldn't get any fever this time and thank God I didn't! Woohoo praise God!! =D the bleeding didn't stop as quickly this time but thank God there was no pain after I ate one painkiller! And this time I fell asleep after eating it so yayyy! Good for recovery! The other time I was so happy that the pain was gone after eating the pill that I got more energetic and didn't take a nap!! Anyway, I wanted the appointment to be on this date because it's the start of the June holidays which means no RT so won't clash! =D

It's been about 5 days since the extraction and I can't wait to be able to eat with both sides of my mouth again!! Haha will be able to do that next week and I'm sooooo looking forward to that!! =D Next dental appointment will be on 16th June to tighten my braces so the gaps would be narrower! It'd take a few months for them to close up completely and I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT TOO!! =D

I really thank God that I DO NOT HAVE TO EXTRACT ANY MORE TEETH!! YAYYYYYY!! Haha unless the dentist says I'd have to extract my wisdom teeth (I have all 4 of them) after my braces are taken off or something!! Sure hope not!! Cause they don't hurt at all and he said they don't affect my braces! So yea praying that I won't have to extract them! Read somewhere that they would eventually have to be taken out because they would affect the alignment of the straightened teeth when the braces are off! Will see what the dentist says! But anyhow, I don't think I'll have to extract any teeth anytime this year so wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

I wanna thank God for such an awesome 2012!! I'm one step closer to achieving my dream (contract teaching!! =D), got my braces on (something I've wanted for a reallllllly long time and IT'S ALL SPONSORED!! Just what I wanted!! Haha God never forgets your desires!! =D He remembers how exactly you want it! Even if you didn't pray about it! He knows it all!! =D) and God finally gave me an answer to something I've been praying about for a reallyyyyyy long time!! Haha it's gonna be a really exciting journey ahead and I believe things will only get better as time goes!! =D

God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =D

I didn't get in, again.

Hello world, I just got the letter today. THE letter from NTU. Says the same thing as the one they sent the year before. I'm pretty okay with it. Mentally ran through the possible scenarios in my head before I opened it. Let's go back to when I first got the message while I was still at work..

At 7.58PM..

Mummy: Dear you have a letter from NTU!! Shall I open?

When I saw this, so many thoughts went through my mind..wow does that mean I got accepted?? Cause they said the results would be out by the end of May and I recall that I got the letter after May last year (or was it during May? I can't really remember) so I was so excited and nervous at the same time! I've been secretly praying that I'd get in this year..been checking the admissions website every day though it's always the same thing I see..but I kept telling myself..maybe no news is good news..just keep hoping and praying..but then after all that hype, i thought of..THE OTHER OUTCOME..suddenly my heart started to beat slower, my hands felt less cold..I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be too disappointed when I see the letter..after all, my grades are the same cause I didn't retake..but still, I held onto a glimmer of hope..maybe, just maybe, because of Mr Poh's recommendation letter and because I wrote about my RT experience in the essay, the judges decided to let me in this time round? And so my reply was..

"REALLY!! Wait ah.."

I wanted to check the admissions website..though I already checked it in the afternoon..I thought, since they have sent a letter, maybe the result would be shown on the website now? And so I went..using my phone, i pressed on the email icon, scrolled to "Starred" (I starred the email so I can go back to it easily) and opened the email..then as usual, I copied my admission number, clicked on the link and entered the website. Pasted the number, keyed in my IC no and logged on..

Nothing changed. It still said "We have received your application". No semblance of whether I have been accepted or rejected..hopeful side of me: okay..maybe they haven't updated the website..no news is still good news.. however, I knew that slowly but surely, the fact that I might not be successful again this year started to sink in deep..I messaged mummy again..

"The admissions website doesn't say anything leh..you open lor!"

And after a short while, she replied, "Ok"

I reminded the colleague that said she'd be going home with me today (for the first time!) that it was already 8 and she said to give her 5 minutes..at that point of time, I really didn't wanna think of the outcome..kept praying and committing everything to God..I don't wanna think about it..at least not when I'm still at least an hour away from home..not now, if it's not good..not now..

Then when she was finally done, we left together and when we reached the traffic light, she asked "so you're from poly?" haha must have thought so cause I'm not in Uni now..can't escape the topic, can I? Haha so I told her everything! And that was when I realised I was really quite worried about the result cause at the end after telling her I applied for NIE again this year, I blurted, "and my mummy just told me that I got a letter from NTU!! I don't know what's the result yet.." then after that she told me her poly friend got in and it shouldn't be that hard to get into it..my first response was.."her GPA was quite good?" and she nodded. Turns out that she actually got into NTU too but because of financial problems, she rejected the offer..

Well well..fast forward..didn't check my phone again till I reached the escalator then I told her I think my mummy replied but I don't dare to check..so I took out my phone slowly and opened the messaged even more slowly..

"You left office?"

That's the only thing she said. Whew. At least she didn't drop any bomb haha and so I thought..there's still hope! I replied "Yea going back now..why?" and "Should I go home and see?"

Then I resumed the conversation with my colleague..speaking of which it's really cool cause I think God planned that she'd go home together with me today so that I'd be distracted and not be too worried about the result..and she stays further from the office than I do so I won't even have time to think of it cause we'd be talking haha so yea God is so thoughtful! =D

During our conversation, we found out that we shared quite a number of similarities!! She was from NYP, I was from AJ, we both alight at YCK for school! Haha and the best part is..she was from PHS as well! And we graduated in the same year!! I was really shocked cause she's a year older than me then I found out that she studied for 5 years! Then we started talking about teachers we know..haha isn't that cool?? Actually when she told me she's going home with me today, I was quite scared so I prayed that we'd have things to talk about cause I don't want any awkward silences!! So yea thank God!! He answered my prayer!! Haha =D

I only checked my phone when I reached my stop..mummy said "I open and see first..". To which I replied, "Okay I'm reaching home".

And on the way home, the different scenarios kept running through my mind..haha God really knows me well..thank God for the "diversion" on the train or I might have become pretty stressed about it!! Haha thank God I live near the MRT so those thoughts couldn't stay with me for long!

First thing Mummy said to me when I reached was "Go and take your dinner first"..I wondered if she's keeping the suspense (if it's a piece of good news) or making sure I eat before I find out (if it's a bad news cause she's worried I wouldn't eat if that was the case)..so anyway, with these thoughts in mind, I took my dinner..didn't rush through it at first but towards the very end, Mummy seemed to have noticed that I was finishing dinner soon so she went to place where the letters are usually placed while still keeping her eyes on the TV, maybe to make sure I wouldn't suspect a thing haha but mummy, I saw it! I saw it all! And I really want to thank you for being so thoughtful!! :')

Then the moment came, I picked up the letter and walked into my room while opening it..Mummy quietly followed..then she closed the door behind her and took the letter from my hands and asked enthusiastically "ARE YOU EXCITED?" with big eyes haha "is this a good thing?" I thought..then she asked "ARE YOU NERVOUS?" now, I could answer this one..I replied meekly, "yeaa" then she passed the letter back to me and watched me unfold it..couldn't comprehend what I was reading at first..it seemed like the words were jumping around on the piece of paper..but then I got it..I didn't get in, again.

Mummy hugged me and said many things to console me, as she usually does. Haha but I told her "it's okay..I was mentally prepared for the different scenarios already" haha so yup! I'm fine! Thank God! =D

Thoughts came into my mind again..seems like other people who got better grades than I do have it easier..they got in..even if teaching isn't their dream, even if they decided on the route because it's a "stable job"..how come things are harder to achieve when you really want it? IT'S MY DREAM TO BE A TEACHER YET I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE LONGER AND HARDER WAY TO ACHIEVE IT. WHY IS IT EASIER FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T REALLY WANT TO TEACH YET HAVE GOOD GRADES?? GOOD GRADES = CAN TEACH WELL? Isn't passion the most important thing? There is no guarantee that I'll be a teacher in the future because I still have to go through one year of contract teaching and see if the principal recommends me to study the diploma at NIE the following year. I'll be under probation. Things are not confirmed. I've waited for more than a year. Applied for the diploma last year as well but I didn't get any email or call. I felt so disappointed. Then this year they told me my grades got mixed up in their system..not sure if that's the reason why I wasn't contacted last year.

BUT ANYWAY, I'm fine with things now. At least I've got something this year. Those in NIE might not survive long as a teacher BUT I AM DETERMINED TO SURVIVE AND SURVIVE WELL. I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP AFTER WAITING SO LONG TO FULFILL MY DREAM. To other people, teaching may just be something they do to put the rice on the table but for me, I'M GONNA BE MORE THAN THAT. I'm gonna give my very best because I HAVE WAITED LONG ENOUGH. I've had enough of being left out of the system just because my grades don't make the cut. I'M GONNA BE A LIVING EXAMPLE AND SHOW MY STUDENTS IT IS POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAM AND LIVE IT AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GIVE UP, NO MATTER HOW TOUGH THE GOING MIGHT BE.

NIE, you might have rejected me twice but I thank you because it is because of your rejection that I am determined to do EVEN BETTER than I planned on doing. Thank you for making me a stronger person. If I do get in someday to study for a degree in education, my aim is to learn as much as I can and do very well so that I'll be the best teacher for my students!!

I am not defeated. Still holding on, still gonna go on. This is not the end. This is only the beginning. And God will be with me all the way! Woohoo! =D

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

(Psalm 46:1-5 NIV)

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—

of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1 NIV)

Thank you if you've read everything! I love writing, it really helps me to sort out my thoughts! Haha last but not least, God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Updates on my lifeeee

1. It's official. I'll be doing my braces at Parkway Parade!
   
   Turns out that the overall cost will be cheaper than that of Q&M at Yishun! No payment needed for the subsequent reviews and the dentist said he'll waive yesterday's consultation fee ($70) on the account of my grand-aunt! Background story: My grand-aunt's son's braces was done by this specialist who also happened to have worked in NUH before and won many awards for his dentistry work! Apparently he also did the teeth of a very important minister before..haha I forgot who! Will check it out the next time I visit the clinic! It's a one-hour long journey though..will have to wake up earlier on Saturdays (maybe 8.30am??) so that i'll reach the clinic on time..cause I'll still be going to CDAC after every visit..but I mustn't complain! Cause my granddad who is not working at the moment is paying for everything so I should be grateful! =D
   
   
2. Have been doing RT on a really frequent basis recently!! =D Haha I was 王老师 today!
   
   
3. It's really funny cause I teach all the subjects so some of my students know me as Ms Ong and some as 王老师! And today during Chinese class, a few accidentally called me Ms Ong instead of 王老师 haha!
   
   
4. Really thank God for all these RT experiences.
   
   No matter what subject I teach, I'm learning day by day how to be a better teacher for my students, how to manage the class, how to make sure they take away at least a little something after my lessons! I try, I really do. If I go to the rowdiest of classes, I may not get everyone's attention but what I do is that I focus on a few students and help them as much as possible. Will try to improve over time though! Really wanna be able to make an impact on the students that teachers would usually complain about/ give up on! =D
   
   
5. Had to deal with an unexpected situation in the middle of a lesson today!!
   
   A child was asked to go to the dentist but it seems like she has a huge phobia of visiting the dentist!! She started crying and refused vehemently to go to the dental clinic! Some of her friends gathered around her out of concern but I told them to go back to their seats cause the girl got even more agitated when they talked to her plus the lesson hasn't ended yet. So we continued with the lesson and although the atmosphere was a little strange, I'm glad they listened to instructions and allowed me to take control of the situation.
   
   Then when the bell rang, I made my way to the girl and told her I'll go to the dentist with her and let the dentist know she doesn't want any treatment. It took a little bit of coaxing but thank God she finally agreed and we went down..I'm not sure but I think the previous treatment at the dental clinic might have caused her a lot of pain which is why she was so against the idea..and only wanted to go the the dentist at the polyclinic..oh well..so I stayed with her and kept talking to her since I had a free period..was hoping I could stay with her throughout but I couldn't! The dentist wasn't done with the other pupil when I had to go! I was quite worried cause I told her I need to go to class and she looked like she was going to cry again! And then I asked her "so if I stay here with you, you would do the treatment?" and she nodded!! Wahhh from not wanting to do it at all, she actually said yes!! But only if I stay there..sigh in the end I rushed off to another class..really hope she was okay!!
   
   
6. Then on my way to class, I walked past a group of students who were sitting outside a classroom and waiting to enter it. And a few of them greeted me and as usual I responded with a smile and a "hello" and then I heard something.."that's my favourite teacher!" one of the boys in the group said as he pointed at me excitedly! Haha I'm really sorry that I don't remember the boy's name but I really do appreciate little things like that! =D I hope I'm his favourite teacher cause my lessons are interesting! Hahaha =D

Haha so eventful right!! And I haven't even listed every single thing that happened! Haha really like how everyday is different! =D Haha okay gonna stop here! Getting kind of tired! Haha so God bless, take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Braces or veneers?

Haha that's the question I've been contemplating upon for the past one month! I visited dentist@orchard for a free consultation on Smiledesign (instant braces) and also the dental clinic near my house (cost $40 for the consulation!! Lol)! So here are the differences between these two..may not apply to everyone unless you have rabbit teeth like mine! Haha so here goes!

Smile design (crowns and veneers)	Braces
Very fast. Process can be completed in a month!	Slow. Have to wear them for 2-2.5 years
Painless	Painful. Will have ulcers.
No need to extract any teeth	Have to extract 4 teeth + 2 wisdom teeth!
No need to take MC	After taking out the wisdom teeth, I will have 5 days of MC which means it will be painful!!
Have to extract the nerves of my front teeth in order to shift them which means I won't be able to feel my teeth ever again	No need to extract nerves
$6k++ for only the 6 front teeth	$7k++ for all the teeth which means I will have nice teeth for both the top and bottom rows! Price inclusive of the monthly reviews and X-ray!
No need to wear retainers	Need to wear retainers for life
Have to shorten and thin my two front teeth so that dentist can insert crowns	No need to change the size of my teeth

Okay so as you can see, there are a lot of considerations! The cheaper but more painful option would be braces but after the 2 to 2.5 years, my teeth will look nice forever if I wear the retainers regularly haha and there won't be any problem about the crowns/veneers breaking! Though the Smile design dentist did tell me that most of his patients do not experience breakage, I'm still quite apprehensive because I'll never know when I accidentally bite onto something hard! Then the crowns/veneers would drop off and everyone will see the shortened and thinned original teeth!! Haha I'd like to keep it real!! No pain, no gain right! Haha I guess the trigger for me was when someone who did veneers before told me to go for traditional braces instead! I thought he'd be more supportive of veneers! Haha so yea! I think it would be worth it!! Yay!! And thank God my grandfather is gonna sponsor this whole thing!! Haha my grandma wants me to visit a specialist at Parkway even though I already told her that the cost of doing braces at the dental clinic near my house is much cheaper! But oh well! Haha pray that everything will go smoothly!! =D

God bless, take care & byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D

Because there should be a place for it..

Initially this is what I wrote for my personal essay for the Uni application haha but my writing juices overflowed in the wrong area and it turned out to be too narrative for an application essay! I had written too much and exceeded the word limit but I still had not really answered the second part of the essay topic I chose! (Share an event or incident you have encountered personally and why and/or how it has affected you or is especially meaningful to you.) Haha so..because I don't want to waste what I wrote, I had to find a place for it and I think..this is the perfect place! Haha I remember putting all my drafts for the application essay last year here too! Gonna edit it to make it sound more complete! Enjoy! =D

It was nearing the end of the school day. As I sat at the teacher’s table and looked at the pupils reading quietly in the classroom, I was thinking about how I could make an impact as a relief teacher. It seemed rather impossible to think of any ideas since I was only doing it on an ad-hoc basis. “How much of an impact would I be able to make even if I have the heart to do so?” I questioned myself and sighed inwardly as I knew there would not be any answers coming my way.

In order to distract me from thinking further and getting futile results, I decided to stand up and walk around to look at what the students were reading. I stopped when I saw a girl holding a book related to the brain. That stood out among the rest because most of them were reading storybooks meant for their level (Primary 2). As I looked at the contents of the book, I actually began to explain the concepts to her using layman terms. Soon after, I found myself teaching not just one but at least five other students! The rest had gathered around me, eagerly waiting to hear more of what I was going to say. As I flipped page after page to teach them more concepts, the students’ excitement grew and I thought to myself, “Wow, maybe this is the answer!” After I was done with the last page, the bell rang and it was time to go.

As I was switching off the lights in the classroom, one of the pupils asked me if her eyes got bigger, which is what I taught earlier. She did not use the correct term but I was felt a sense of satisfaction, like I really did make an impact. That is one of the most memorable incidents I encountered while doing relief teaching. It may seem small but to me, it was especially meaningful because it showed me that as long as you have the passion to make an impact, you do not need a long time for it to happen. An impact can happen at anytime, within any time frame.

To the greatest Artist ever:

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

You're really really the best!! Thank You for never giving up on me, thank You, thank You, thank You for loving me, forever and always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I sing a love song to You Lord, every day, every night, I'll tell of Your goodness and mercy, tell the world how You rescued me, brought me out of sin and shame, Your breath gives me new lifeeeeeee.."

--

"Nothing is missing"

God doesn't miss out on any detail on our lives, just like how He didn't miss out on any detail when He created nature and US! Those who learnt Biology would probably know that really well! =D If nature is already so amazing, CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWESOME THE CREATOR IS??

--

Dear God, when I get stressed out and fail to see Your goodness, may You always remind me to look in the right places..

--

You know, I'm actually someone who'll get panicky very easily..so if you see that I'm not, it's really because of God's peace! Haha

Yup sorry this post is really incoherent!! But I'm feeling this peace in my heart and I absolutely LOVEEEEEEE this feeling!! =D So much peace that I'm not even thinking about my application essay and whatever other things I have to do! Haha because I know God's gonna handle it WITH me!! Dear God, I just wanna pray that You'll help me write an awesome essay!! 300 word limit but God I know You can do so much even with just 1 word!! =D God I pray that even if I don't get into NIE again this year, I would not be disappointed. Give me a heart that will willingly accept whatever You have in store for me. Be it the degree or diploma, God I pray You'll use me wherever I go and I pray for Your strength and Your joy to be with me at all times! And I pray for lots of humility! :) :) Thank You God! In Jesus' most precious and powerful name I pray, Amen! =D

My 2012 so far..

Hello everybodyyyyyy! Haha okay so guess what?? =D APS actually called me last Tuesday to do relief teaching in the afternoon session!! Super cool! It's like every time the cell group prays for me to get a long-term relief teaching job, I'll get the call within the next few days!! It was like that last year too!! Not for long term RT but still, God is too cool!! =D

Okay I wanna write down everything I remember while I still can!! Haha so on that day, I took a P2 class and a P2 malay class at the end of the day! Hahaha I didn't have to teach Malay la..just had to make sure the class isn't noisy! Haha actually managed to teach some kids Science during those periods! Really happy that one girl asked "so Miss Ong, now our eyes get bigger?" after I switched off the lights at the end of the lesson! Haha yay sense of accomplishment! Even though the correct term should be "pupils" instead of "eyes" but still..she's only in P2 so yea! =D

Oh yea the teacher didn't give me any instructions so I just told the kids to do whatever they wanted to do but they had to keep the volume down..haha oh yea! It was on that day that I realised (when I was in the hall for assembly) that actually many teachers wear sandals with pants in school! Haha so I told myself that I'm not gonna torture my feet by wearing my blue wedges the next time I do relief teaching!!

Hahaha oh and the male teacher who helped me last year when I came to school as a relief teacher for the first time helped me again on that day! Haha helped me to find my class in the hall and even got another teacher who would be teaching in the classroom next to mine to tell me where I should go and everything! =D And I remember seeing him again when I was making my way to the malay class! Haha he had made the classroom really quiet by the time I walked in! So yay thank God!! =D

Other things I wanna remember about that day's experience: a few of them made cards for me! Haha and wrote "Ms Ong I love you" haha yea and one of the girls drew me on her whiteboard! =D oh and the really cute kids! Felt like pinching one of the girls haha her cheeks!! And the way all of them said the pledge!! Kids' voices!! =D And thank God for another little helper, T!! =D

And thennnn this week, I got the call on Monday again!! Yay!! Haha most enjoyable relief teaching experience to date! The least hiccups and problems! =D Hahaha yea so they called me at 8plus in the morning to ask me if I can come for the afternoon session! And of course I said yes! =D Then after the call I rested for about an hour or so and I read devo!! =D Okay now I'm gonna fast forward to the time I stepped into the GO of the school! =D

Couldn't find the file for relief teachers to sign in and out so I went to Mdm N and saw it beside her table..so I signed in..then she asked me to sign on this appointment letter from MOE..haha it was just to inform me that I am under the READ scheme la..haha then after that I asked her "so..is there any way to get a recommendation letter?" and she told me they are not looking for any long term RT now so they'd only call me on an ad-hoc basis..and she can get the VP to write recommendation letter only if I work long term cause now they don't know me well enough to do that..so yea..pray for me okay! =D

After that I went up to the hall and this female teacher came up to me to tell me that the teacher I'm relieving on that day actually wrote a list of things for me to do!! Yay!! =D Haha it's really better when there are instructions because it'd be easier to manage the class that way so thank God for that!! =D

She brought me to the staff room and showed me the teacher's table! Carried the P2 math activity books to the hall, sat down on a chair and waited for assembly to start! Haha so nostalgic!! Sang the school song again after so long!! With a new perspective of the lyrics! =D

First period was PE so we stayed in the hall..the kids wanted to play monkey ball so I got some of them to help me bring the balls to the hall..and while waiting for them, I asked them to introduce themselves! =D but I didn't get everyone's names because the helpers came back before I managed to do that..but anyway! It was a good start! =D So I split them up into 4 groups of 5..there are supposed to be 25 students in my class..a few boys didn't wanna participate and I think there were 2 absentees so yea haha and then they started playing! Haha then oh my not long after, accidents started to happen! Thank God they were minor ones! Lol some of the girls got hit by the ball accidentally and were on the verge of crying!! Lol got the students who caused the accidents to apologise..and funnily, those who got hit still wanted to play! Oh and one girl really looks like Shirleen when she's gonna cry! Lol felt like I was looking at Shirleen a few times! Hahaha so yea thank God everything was fine after that! =D

While they were playing, I talked to the boys who didn't wanna join in..haha they were playing catching on their own! Haha got to know them better..which was good! Because building rapport with the kids makes them more willing to listen to you haha so yea thank God! =D

After PE, it was time for math so I asked for volunteers to help me carry the books to class and so many little hands went up!! Hahaha so yea it was really heartwarming to see them so willing to help me!! =D Anyway after that we were supposed to proceed to this particular room but I didn't know where it was..silly me..should have checked the school map that I had! Lol instead I asked the kids and they were all so excited and kept telling me they knew where it is so I got them to bring me to the room and they led me to the com lab!! Lol oh yea when we were making our way there, one boy (S) asked if he can sit with me later! Hahaha yea he sat at the teacher's table when we got into the lab!

Lol anyway it was hilarious..I didn't have the pass so I couldn't enter..so 2 girls went down to the GO to get it for me..and when we got in, we saw bags everywhere! A class had already came and left their bags there! But still, since we were already there..and silly me believed that the kids knew what they were talking about, I got them to sit down and then got some children to help me give out the books..and got markers from some of them (actually i only asked for one but I got 3 hahaha cute right?)..and when everyone had finally settled down and got their books, I started teaching them..but shortly after, the class came back!! Lol it was actually the P2 class I relieved the week before!! Hahaha yea so the teacher told me where that room was and everyone had to move out..(so you see, a lot of time was actually wasted..but thank God the kids still finished their work after that!) and then we got to the REAL room, waited for everyone to settle down and open their math books to the page..and I finally could start my lesson again..had to teach them the concepts of ordering numbers, "more than", "less than" and number patterns! So yea thank God it wasn't that difficult and thank God the kids are smart! Haha so when the lesson ended, most of them were already done! =D

Okay then after all that, it was time for art class and we were already late because the kids were asking me questions and someone dropped his sharpener into the hole on the teacher's table..loool and when I got them to line up some students wanted to line up with me! Hahaha so cute..as first only one girl asked, (the one who looks like Shirleen..let's call her M! =D) "Ms Ong can I line up with you?" and I said yes and then more of them asked me the same time! So in the end I was lining up with like 5 kids!! LOL okay so without further ado, we proceeded to the art room! Yay! Because there was another teacher who'd be conducting the lesson! (Saw her the week before! The other class had art lesson on that day too! Haha) I just had to sit and watch! =D They were gonna continue with their fortune cat made of clay! Haha had to paint it and attach the angbao to it! =D

Okay so after art, it was HE! Haha the teacher didn't assign any instructions for that period so I used it to help those who didn't finish their math work or did it wrongly (haha I checked a few books during the art class)! Got them to come up individually so that I could teach them! =D Haha it wasn't a lot..I don't know if I missed out anyone who didn't complete their work..but I felt like a real teacher during that time!! =D Thank God the class was relatively quiet and were doing their own stuff and I could focus on teaching those who needed my help! =D so yay I feel like I made an impact! =D

Yup then it was time for recess! Yay! Haha some of the kids were like snatching to stand with me when I got the class to line up before we move to the canteen! Lol so I said it's okay all of you can stand with me! No need to snatch! Hahaha and so with that, we made our way down! =D Had to bring one boy (let's call him K! =D) to the GO cause he said he didn't have his food and drink coupons! LOL super funny! Oh yea and the girls who wanted to line up with me followed hahaha told them to go and eat but M said "no Miss Ong i'll follow you wherever you go" hahaha awww..so yea they came into the GO with me! Then I told Mdm N about K's situation and she had that exasperated look on her face hahahaa cause he wasn't under the scheme that's why he wasn't given the coupons! Hahaha and then a funny dialogue happened between Mdm N and K! Hahaha don't think I'm supposed to write it down here so yea everyone who heard it was laughing away! Hahaha okay so after everything was settled, the kids and I finally went to have our recess! =D

Wanted to eat the maggie mee with soup but they said it was sold out already! So I asked the kids what they were gonna eat (yea they were still following me! Lol!) and they said porridge so I had porridge! Haha it's still 80cents!! =D that's what I bought for my first recess in school! =D

Then I ate with my students again! Hahaha seems like they only do that when I wear contacts and the dark blue dress! Or maybe cause I'm not so tired that day!! =D thank God!!! Was praying for that!! Haha this time, there was a boy who was at the table with me! Haha yea it was K! Oh yea C was sitting with me too! Thought she didn't really like me cause she didn't smile when I talked to her before that but during recess she actually started to talk to me and tell me about her grandparents! Haha thank God! =D Oh yea M gave me a jelly! Haha =D

Okay then after recess, as usual, the pupils had to gather at the bus bay before they can go back to their class! So yea when everyone was ready, I led them back to their class! =D Hahaa M started to hold my hand and then soon after T held my other hand and G wanted to join in but she couldn't hold my so she held my arm! Hahaha I was telling them "I only have 2 hands! I'm not an octopus!" and they broke out in laughter hahaha

Yup so it was English next! They were supposed to do their penmanship books! Haha yea M, T, JR and K wanted to sit with me so I let them sit near the teacher's table..okay I remember Sh and B were there too but I don't remember if it's because they wanted to sit with me..haha okay so anyway after I told them what to do, most of them started on their work but K wanted to do it as homework..so I stood beside him and told him "You do now, I'll be standing here" and then he really listened to me! Haha yea actually he has nice handwriting! And he's smart! Just needs a lot of attention and a bit of pushing..haha so yea I waited until he was engrossed in writing till I moved away and went to the others who didn't feel like doing their work..haha and P told me that my dress is nice! Haha it was the first time I heard her telling me something not related to her classmates' behaviour! Hahaha she'd be like a little reporter and tell me what's going on..what the naughty pupils were doing and so on..hahaha so yea it was nice to hear that from her! =D

Oh yea and it feels good when you manage to get those naughty pupils (like Sh and B) to actually do their work..haha sense of achievement there! =D haha they really like talking and every time I walk past them, they would talk to me so I told them "Okay you finish this page then you talk okay?" haha and thank God it worked!! =D

Okay after English it was MT so I had to leave the class..and as I was leaving, T shouted "Bye bye Ms Ong! I love you!" Hahaha another aww moment!! =D Oh yea before I forget, some of the girls drew me on their whiteboards! Hahaha should have taken photos of their drawings for memory's sake! =D Seems like all P2 pupils love drawing on their whiteboards!

Haha okay so I had to go relieve another class..it was rest time for me..haha after all that drama..haha but I played QUIET heart attack with some of the kids! =D yay thank God haha yup then after the lesson, had to go to the parade square to gather..didn't know where to go at first..a lot of kids were telling me the gates they have to exit by but seems like everyone were in their classes so I was quite confused..but anyway thank God things were fine after that! =D Made my way home after everything ended and saw a few CDAC kids when I was walking to the MRT! Haha nice way to end the day!! =D But I'm never gonna wear those flats again..they always give me blisters..haha oh yea P said "teacher you must take care" when I was putting the plaster! =D haha so yea..that's actually the pair of shoes I bought last year..you can scroll down and refer to my previous post..hahaha oh well!! Hope I will be able to get a REALLY COMFORTABLE AND SUITABLE PAIR OF FLATS FOR WORK!! Oh oh and my contact lens were REALLY easy to get out after that!! Thank God!! Haha both came out after just one try!! Hahaha would usually require more than one try to get them out but guess God knew I needed to rest ASAP haha cause the day was really quite tiring!! Haha

Okay then on Tuesday, they called me at 6.57am for relief teaching again!! Hahaha that's the first time they actually called me for 2 consecutive days!! =D Oh this time it was for morning session! Woah I really thank God because I couldn't really sleep the night before even though I tried to sleep early (9 or 10pm) and I didn't get a good sleep so yea THANK GOD I SURVIVED!! TALKING IS SO TIRING!! Haha yea I went to work after doing relief teaching! Seriously crazy..haha that's the first time I did that too! Do relief teaching in the morning then go to TP to work..wahhhhh haha madness!! Okay so let's start with the teaching experience! =D

So this time I went to school wearing sandals!! Haha yay no more feet pain!! =D When I reached the GO, one staff said "Oh Sandra is here!" haha thought that was quite cool! Think they really know me already! Hahaha =D So I took my schedule for the day (was gonna take a P4 class that day!) and went to the staff room cause classes started at 8.30 on that day! =D

When I got to the staff room, there was a teacher who walked up to me and asked if I needed help! Haha she showed me to the teacher's table and told me I could ask for her help anytime if I need any! Haha her table was just beside mine! =D So yea that was nice! And then shortly after another teacher told me that the students' activity books are in the locker so I could go and check and see how I can plan my lessons! Haha yup then after that I still had some time to rest so I went to check FB..and I felt like I really needed prayer so I posted on the CG page! Haha yea then I left the staff room at 8.15 because there wasn't anything else to do already haha and I ended up listening to the last part of the Chinese class! Another nostalgic moment! Haha found myself enjoying listening to the lesson! =D

Haha after it ended, the teacher walked away and gave me a wide smile hahaha think she saw me paying attention to her class! Haha then I walked in and waited for the students from the other MT classes to come back! Got some kids to help to carry the science workbooks from the locker to class! And then everyone settled down, I greeted them, took a book from one of them as reference and then I started teaching! =D Had to teach them systems haha reminded me of one of the songs I taught but that's for body systems haha but anyway yea those those periods were quite fun! Got to recap my primary school science hahaha thennn it was time for recess! Haha had dry maggie mee with 2 nuggets and 1 seaweed chicken! And no one sat with me..haha so my hypothesis is right! Kids will only wanna sit with me when I'm wearing that dress hahaha oh but there was one girl who came over to the table I was at..haha okay la better than nothing! Lol I actually asked some other kids from my class if I could sit with them and they said no..aww haha oh well!

After recess, it was supposed to be SS then HE but the teacher didn't assign any instructions for these two subjects..and I didn't really understand what she wanted me to do during the English lesson..so I used that time to get them to do their math! Haha and the kids were asking me to bring them to the com lab and this time I told them to ask the GO if I am allowed to do that! Haha =D Initially they didn't wanna go but I guess their desire to go to the com lab won over haha so they went! Hmm they took quite some time to come back but thank God the answer is yes! Haha so I told the students that the earlier they complete their work, the earlier we'd go to the com lab! Haha made sure they did their work properly before we went! But yea I really thank God for the break because I needed some time to rest..still had to work almost non-stop for 5 hours later in the end..hahaha yea so bringing them to the com lab was a good choice! =D

After school, I went to admiralty place for lunch and ate wanton noodles! Haha by the time I finished eating it was around 2pm already so I knew I'd be late for work haha but thank God it's okay! Cause I can still work 5 hours then leave later than 8! Haha oh yea I got a seat on the train! Yay so thank God!! Got to sit from Admiralty to Raffles Place! =D

Okay so when I got to TP, I bought 2 cream rolls! Lol and I only ate one cream roll!! Haha was so tired during work that when I closed my eyes for just a second, i felt I could fall asleep!! But by God's power and grace, I still managed to get 2 appointments!! And I made more calls than I usually would make!! (since the last week!) haha God is amazing!! =D Oh lol and my colleagues looked at me funnily cause I was wearing the teacher outfit hahaha

Yea okay then yesterday I actually missed a call from APS even though my phone was on general mode!! Must have been really tired!! They called at 7.25am! Saw it at 9 and called them back but they said they already found someone! Hope they will call tomorrow and Friday since my boss said I don't have to work on those days!! =D and I went to CPS again! =D Then to SSC to see if I can get new flats and bag..preferably one that is similar to my yellow Elle bag! So that I can use it for both work and non-work purposes! =D Didnt find any suitable shoes..and I found a really comfy bag (as soft as a pillow!! Love it!!) at Esprit but it's $44.90!! =O oh well..will come back to get it if I really don't find a bag I like somewhere else..! Actually, it doesn't really match some of my clothes..haha so it'd look quite funny..haha never mind! New flats are more important!! The current ones are really painful to walk in! Should find a solution..anyway I went home to rest and have lunch! =D then as usual, I bought cream rolls at 7-11 when I reached TP before going to work! =D

Yup so as you can tell, I'm not working right now..kept getting up since 6plus in the morning cause I was afraid I'd miss their call again..but they didn't call..oh well it's okay! Hope I'll get the call tomorrow! =D

Hahaha I think I should rename this to "The Chronicles Of A Girl Who Wants To Be A Teacher"..!